If characters in Hex search a random body, treasure chest, thief’s cache, cabinet of curiosities, or even a sewer-drain or trash-can, here’s a list of things they might find.
| Roll (1d100) | Curios, Oddities, Tosh & Treasure |
| 1 | A small, framed painting of a castle, the details of which – the number of towers and parapets, the banners flown, siege weaponry on the battlements, and similar features – change subtly when no one is looking. |
| 2 | A cat’s skull on a catgut cord. Its wearer’s personality becomes subtly more cat-like over time, possibly due to the presence of a feline ghost possessing the talisman. |
| 3 | A gnomish pocket pistol small enough to conceal in a coat-sleeve. |
| 4 | An extremely graphic love letter between a demon and one of the Fair Folk, mentioning unknown orifices and appendages. Equal parts arousing and grotesque; oddly touching in places. |
| 5 | A book of matches that burn with a green flame and can only be quenched by blood, not water. |
| 6 | A tarnished pocket-watch that shows the time in the mortal plane and Elfhame simultaneously (Elfhame experiences seven times as much time as the mortal world). |
| 7 | A humorous ensorcelled cartoon strip about Cernuous Cedric the slug-about-town, a languorous libertine known for his lechery, taste for strong drink, and allergy to any form of labour. The strip speaks and animates when read, telling the story of one of Cedric’s disastrous affairs with the husband of Mordiggia, the Charnel Goddess. |
| 8 | A satyr statuette which increases the libido of everyone who sees it by fifty percent while it remains in line of sight. |
| 9 | A crumpled map of Corvid Commons marked with the entrances to the hidden shrines of the Shrouded Lord. |
| 10 | A tiny pouch of ghostdust which, if snorted, allows the user to see any nearby ghosts for ten minutes. |
| 11 | A grocery list which, halfway through, clearly becomes a list of ingredients for an occult ritual as it starts listing objects such as the blood of a murderer’s child, candles made from minotaur tallow, the tongue of a second-rate poet, a serrated knife, one set black robes, incense, an altar-stone quarried from Mount Shudder, salt distilled from virgin’s tears, etcetera. |
| 12 | A pepperbox pistol that can fire six shots before reloading. It currently has three bullets loaded, one of which has a curious worm-like sigil etched upon it. This bullet, if it hits a target, transforms into flesh-eating grub that deals an additional 1d6 piercing damage per turn until the target is dead or it is removed with a DC 15 Wisdom (Medicine) check. |
| 13 | A false eye with an iridescent iris. If placed into an empty socket it functions as an organic eye that can also see any invisible fairy creatures. |
| 14 | An ode to Genial Jack, the Godwhale, who swims the Sixty Seas with the city of Jackburg on His back and in His belly. Scribbled on the back is a mysterious phrase: “The tongues of the dead wag at midnight.” |
| 15 | A pocket-sized book devoted to the ancestry and heraldry of the vampiric Bloodlines of Erubescence. This copy has been annotated with cutting remarks about the various families, sometimes revealing embarrassing gossip or secrets. |
| 16 | A severed doll’s head whose expression mirrors the mood of whoever is looking at it. |
| 17 | A bone pipe carved with intricate crimson sigils; its smoke appears as writhing shades of the damned. |
| 18 | A 500-gp poker chip for the Behemoth Casino, with the eyes of the image of Behemoth scratched out. |
| 19 | A hard candy which, when sucked, changes the accent of the sucker for one hour. Insist that the player must use this accent if their character sucks on the candy. |
| 20 | A small, speckled egg. This egg will hatch into (roll 1d6): (1) a mundane chicken, (2) a tiny cherubic angel bearing strange prophecies and descriptions of the infinite heavens, (3) a miniature hydra, (4) a cockatrice, (5) a two-headed albino crocodile, (6) an evil spirit; while incubating, if held to the ear, it reveals the darkest desires and shameful secrets of the person nearest the one holding it. |
| 21 | A length of yarn that never tangles. |
| 22 | A club studded with extremely nasty spikes, coated with poison. |
| 23 | A magnifying glass that peers backwards through time up to one hour as you look through it. |
| 24 | A vest of putrecampus skin; treat as padded armour. |
| 25 | A bootleg quarto of Vittoria Wolfsheart’s plays The Thirteen Torments of Jacqueline Chandler, The Scarabs, The Miscreation, The Inquisition of Wolves, and The Gibbous Prince. The copies are poorly transcribed, riddled with errors and incomplete speeches. |
| 26 | A bewitched slip of paper which, if placed on the bark of a tree, reveals in writing the species of that tree. |
| 27 | A pamphlet put out by the Society for the Abolition of Demoniac & Infernal Servitude & Maltreatment arguing for the emancipation of summoned beings and the criminality of coercive conjuration. |
| 28 | A switchblade spoon. |
| 29 | A pink stone sculpture of an ear which grows warm when it hears false flattery. |
| 30 | A buckler with an animated face that makes rude grimaces, notionally to distract opponents but actually to show off in a duel. |
| 31 | A small black notebook with a mysterious list of names. The names change everyday. These names are the names of people who (roll 1d6): (1) owe money to the Horned League, (2) are having adulterous affairs, (3) died, (4) cheated at games of chance, (5) skipped a bar tab, (6) criticized the Hexad Council. |
| 32 | A skin of shadowmilk. |
| 33 | A phial of perfume that smells precisely like your mother. |
| 34 | A glass rattle filled with actual baby teeth. If rattled with an action, all incorporeal creatures within 30 feet must immediately use its reaction to move as far away from the rattle as possible. Each time this ability is used, one of the teeth disappears; there are currently 20 teeth. |
| 35 | A zombie tongue for licking stamps and envelopes. |
| 36 | A flask of endless soup du jour – the flask generates a new “soup of the day” at dawn. Many of them are viscerally unpleasant, but hey, free soup. |
| 37 | A dip pen that writes in blood, seemingly inexhaustible. |
| 38 | A dog-eared copy of Man of Her Dreams, a novel by Simone Vertices, in which the heroine falls in love with a man from her own dreams and quests through the Dreamlands to bring him into reality. Halfway through, a scrap of paper serves as a bookmark; upon it is written “Meet me at the Gilded Graveyard, north entrance, midnight. Bring shovel.” |
| 39 | A coin of the Old City, ancient beyond reckoning, though virtually untarnished. If dropped, it rolls towards the nearest entrance of the Old City – likely straight back into the sewer from which it was dredged. |
| 40 | A cursed child’s doll that produces real piss, swears like a sailor, and makes insulting remarks about all nearby; originally produced as part of an extremely ill-advised, deeply unpleasant, and utterly ineffective birth control scheme intended to reduce the population of the urban poor. |
| 41 | A wax cylinder recording of someone being tortured. Between their screams, they wheeze out the following words: “THE MEMENTO MORI! CELLAR! KEG! NORTHWEST CORNER!” |
| 42 | A bottle of limited-edition Moss Piglet Porter from Pustule Brewing, complete with novelty magnifying glass cap, produced during the company’s infamous Spontaneous Generation marketing campaign; collectors will pay handsomely for it, though actually drinking it might be ill-advised. |
| 43 | A toy mirror that causes a reflected visage to make grotesque faces. |
| 44 | A theatrical mask in the tradition of Ancient Penumbral Theatre; the mask changes expression to suit the performance. |
| 45 | A silver key with a coiled chameleon for a bow. This key fits into the next lock into which it is inserted, changing shape, but thereafter only fits that lock. |
| 46 | A torture implement, the pear of anguish. |
| 47 | A suppository of anti-putrefaction; if inserted into a corpse, any decomposition gradually reverses until the corpse is perfectly preserved as per Gentle Repose. If removed from the corpse, the corpse rots rapidly back to its previous state. |
| 48 | A pair of psychically weighted dice that always show the number the thrower visualized. |
| 49 | A fully-illustrated bestiary. Upon encountering a new monster, the bestiary has a 50% chance of having an entry for it, and another 50% chance of having accurate information pertaining to its strengths and weaknesses. |
| 50 | An animated manikin head intended for kissing practice. It is capable of coquettish speech and constructive criticism and offers three settings for the kisser-in-training: “Lips,” “Tongue,” and “Nibbling.” |
| 51 | A phial of Sap, an eldritch syrup harvested from the Elder Trees. |
| 52 | An envelope containing a series of highly incriminating umbratypes showing Hexad Council member Barnabas Grimgrove at the troglodytic brothel known as the Warren. These were in fact faked – the semblance of Barnabas was produced via illusion. |
| 53 | The deed to a mysterious abandoned house in the Dreamers’ Quarter, wrapped around the brass key to the front door. |
| 54 | A scrap of dirty parchment bearing a list of names, some of them crossed off. Investigation reveals all of the names on the list are dead people, mostly buried in the Gilded Graveyard. Those who have been crossed off have recently have their graves’ plundered, their bodies stolen. Further investigation still reveals that these were all jurors in the trial of Isabella Rasping, a necromancer convicted of using a zombies as murder weapons during the infamous “Meatpuppet Murders” two centuries ago. She was executed for the crime by her own creations. Isabella has returned as a revenant with unfinished business; she maintains her innocence and believes she can now prove it, and so is gathering the previous jurors for a kind of “retrial.” |
| 55 | A glass box containing a small spider, a gnawed human finger-bone, and curious webbing spelling out the words “I always loved you.” When fed humanoid remains, the spider spins elaborate webs spelling out the last words of whoever it consumed. |
| 56 | A dagger which cannot cut the flesh of humans or animals but deals 2d6 damage against Lengians or other creatures from the Dreamlands; its pommel is set with a tiny snowglobe within which is a model of the Plateau of Leng. |
| 57 | A slightly tattered but complete copy of a rare first printing of the Saga of the Sacred Cauldron, a chivalric romance recounting a quest in the realm of Elfhame involving such colourful characters as Bellstajj the Capacious, Blue-Eyed Molly, Fennrix the Blind, Fun Guy the Barbarian, the Knight of Harts Petalu Morriden, Susurrus Psithurisma, Weevil Stench, Wick the Silent, and the notorious Sparks & Mud. |
| 58 | A rude cartoon of the adventuring party, all of them mercilessly caricatured. |
| 59 | An anti-seed, grey and ominous-looking. If planted, it begins to kill all plant-life in a slowly-expanding radius, transforming the soil to poisonous dust. The seed itself blossoms on the Ethereal Plane into a grotesque, shadowy flower that slowly spreads more of itself, invisible weeds that expand the anti-seed’s aura of decay. |
| 60 | An eye-dropper filled with belladonna; this dilates the pupils, giving the eyes a pleasant sparkle, and only causes blindness if used quite regularly. |
| 61 | An article on the breeding habits of tunnelswine, partially peer-reviewed. The results look promising, but the reviewer has some questions about the Methods section. |
| 62 | A wheel of cheese veined with vivid green mould. If consumed, the eater must pass a DC 10 Constitution saving throw each day or begin to metamorphose into a plant-version of themselves, capable of photosynthesis and requiring regular rooting in good soil and plentiful irrigation. Three failed saves in a row completes the transformation, while three successful saves in a row fights off the parasitic growth. |
| 63 | An extraordinarily well-crafted dildo of polished ivory in a velvet-lined carrying case. If the correct command word is whispered – written in blood on a small slip of parchment hidden beneath the lining of the case – the incubus bound within the dildo manifests and the device becomes part of his body; if the command word is spoken again, the toy reverts to inert ivory. |
| 64 | A map of the city of Erubescence, marked with mysterious circles demarcating particular buildings. If investigated in the Red City, it can be discovered that such locations are safehouses for the Nightshade Society, a secret sect devoted to ending vampiric rule. |
| 65 | A list of results for fights in the Hellpits, each with an indicated date – in the future. All results will be proved completely accurate, allowing someone in possession of the list to bet heavily in favour of certain outcomes. These results are due to (roll 1d4): (1) match-fixing, (2) time travel, (3) skilled divination, or (4) artful magical sabotage. |
| 66 | A plain copper key, slightly warm to the touch. If used to unlock a door, that door will lead to a random layer of the Netherworld. The key disappears after use. If the door is shut and opened again, it ceases to function as a portal. |
| 67 | A book of poems, Six-Sided Satire, ruthlessly skewering Hexian culture and politics in perfect dactylic hexameter, the traditional meter of heroic Hexian epic. The text portrays Hex as a city of pompous intellectual parasites and thieves, feasting vulture-like on the ruins of older cultures, appropriating their knowledge as their own, and then condescendingly lecturing other states and peoples about the virtues of Hexian “free-thought” and “innovation.” The text is anonymously authored. |
| 68 | A fishbowl containing a dagonian tadpole, potentially stolen from one of the Hatcheries. It appears that a drop of curiously coloured blood has been added to the bowl. |
| 69 | A small flask of Lovewine, a rare pink vintage with heart-shaped bubbles which, if drunk, produces intensely romantic dreams. The hangover is quite rough. |
| 70 | A box containing a roach-like beetle with a red “X” marking on its back, with a small, separate compartment containing gold leaf. If released from the box, the beetle begins moving towards the nearest buried treasure and remains there until the treasure is exhumed. The treasure-beetle must be fed a steady of diet of gold leaf (10 gp/day) or it swiftly perishes. |
| 71 | A punch-card for an analytical engine. If placed into an automaton, the card changes that automaton’s personality to make them (roll 1d4): (1) murderous, (2) possessing an encyclopedic knowledge of all things arcane, (3) intensely pious, revering and proselytizing for the Church of the Magistra, (4) a jester with a wide repertoire of off-colour jokes. |
| 72 | A leather bone which squeaks when squeezed. Any dogs within earshot of the toy become charmed as per the spell Animal Friendship (DC 12). This only works on domesticated canines, not wolves, wild dogs, or similar creatures. |
| 73 | A six-sided Hexchess set with purple, orange, green, pink, black, and grey pieces. If a game is played wherein the pink pieces win, a hidden compartment in the board opens, revealing (roll 1d6): (1) a diamond worth 1,000 gp, (2) a map of Delirium Castle which changes as the castle’s eldritch architecture shifts, (3) a piece of vellum upon which is written a demon’s True Name, (4) an eyedropper of Wraithsbane, a poison which can deliver a second death, (5) the signet ring of elfin royalty, (6) Deck of Many Things. |
| 74 | A human skull with a strange sigil carved into the forehead. Each night at midnight, the skull vomits forth some variety of creeping vermin. If someone smashes the skull, they will be devoured from the inside-out by flesh-eating insects at midnight unless Remove Curse is first cast upon them; all that remains is their skeleton, their skull carved with the same strange sigil as the skull they smashed. Their skull now vomits forth vermin. The Church of Mordiggia desire this relic and will demand its return if they learn of its existence. |
| 75 | A key to Cell Block D of Spellcage. |
| 76 | A battered old music box. It plays an eerie tune which, if listened to continuously for more than a minute, produces intense feelings of nausea and induces vomiting for 1 turn. |
| 77 | A bewitched letter which appears to be addressed to whoever is currently holding it, describing their features and personality in adoring terms. |
| 78 | A fashion magazine, Rich Filth, describing the latest trends for the ultra-wealthy, including the most recent Slimewear, Cathedral Chic, and Roachdress looks, as well as even more outré fashions such as “Patching,” which involves magically transplanting patches of flesh (usually taken from corpses) to one’s body in peculiar designs. |
| 79 | A pale grey pill stamped with a little skull. This is a zombie lozenge; if placed in the mouth of a corpse, the body revives enough to answer one question as per Speak with Dead. |
| 80 | An automaton crab. If wound up with the key in its brass carapace, it will menace any nearby animals with its snappy little mechanical claws. |
| 81 | A beautifully carved wooden prosthetic arm fitted for a Small creature, etched with tiny runes in ancient High Goblin, a language now all but forgotten along with the proud culture that produced it, who some say were forerunners of goblins and gnomes alike. If attached to a torso missing an arm, the prosthesis animates and becomes a perfectly useable arm which, when used to wield a weapon, acts as if it had Strength 20; the creature’s Strength is otherwise unaffected unless the arm is exclusively being used for a check. |
| 82 | A wedding dress, quite exquisite, which miraculously fits a bride of almost any size. Unfortunately, the dress curses any marriage it touches, dooming one of those wed to an early death, often at the hands of the other. |
| 83 | A crying child in a small basket. The child is (roll 1d6): (1) a changeling, (2) a doppelgänger spy from Idolum, (3) a remarkably life-like automaton, (4) a ghost which possesses anyone who gives it suck, (5) an alchemist who accidentally de-aged herself during an attempt to produce a Philosopher’s Stone, (6) a perfectly normal child, apparently abandoned, with a rather foreboding dragon-shaped birthmark. |
| 84 | A small box of elfin salt which, if sprinkled over a meal, instantly makes it taste absolutely delicious and even purifies spoiled food, but also completely deprives the provender of any nutritive value. |
| 85 | A small crystal which, when peered through, appears to show alternate universes. Actually a fragment of a much larger crystal, part of a complex device deep in the Old City. |
| 86 | A taxidermy wolpertinger – a hybrid of rabbit, bird, squirrel, and deer – native to Mooncalf Valley. |
| 87 | This book of history seems to detail an epoch approximately 2,000 years from the present and has been rather clumsily translated into Hextongue. Current powers and states are still vaguely visible in this future time, but have become barely recognizable. Flip a coin; heads, this is a work of artful science fiction; tails, a translation from an authentic future history procured via time travel. |
| 88 | A well-oiled pilliwinks for crushing thumbs. |
| 89 | A piece of amber. Suspended inside it are what appear to be miniature adventurers – one for each player. Should the amber be smashed, the adventurers are freed and return to normal size, explaining that they ran afoul of some sinister machine in the Old City, from whence the amber was retrieved. Have your players generate these new characters (pick a level), who promise the other party that before their miniaturization and imprisonment, they discovered a fabulous trove of treasure beneath the city, which they would share as recompense for their freedom. Should the party embark on this quest, run it as a brutal funnel and warn your players in advance. |
| 90 | A bottle of minotaur milk. |
| 91 | This stained manuscript is fan fiction for the popular and long-running Wendolyn the Werewolf sequence of serialized romantic novels. |
| 92 | A snowball warded such that it cannot melt. At its centre is a small glyph-etched stone. |
| 93 | A small pouch containing a handful of moss crusted with what looks like dried blood. The blood was in fact taken from a patricide, the moss from a hangman’s tree; the combination makes this quite a valuable reagent to the right buyers. |
| 94 | A tin of rare green tea from the distant Occident. |
| 95 | A half-melted bust from the Midden with features made so grotesque they are now unrecognizable. If placed such that the bust can see someone while they sleep, that individual will experiences extremely strange and powerful dreams with minor prophetic power. When such a dream is experienced, have all players contribute one potential prophetic element, and then randomize which of these predictions will come true. |
| 96 | The death mask of a forgotten archwizard. Sleep with the mask placed over your face and you wake with some of his knowledge. Replace all class levels with wizard levels after at least 8 hours of sleep wearing the mask. Your levels revert after another night’s sleep without the mask. Sleep with the mask on your face three nights in a row and it disappears, making the change permanent. |
| 97 | A small box of tapeworm eggs. |
| 98 | A collection of animated toy soldiers, complete with distinct personalities, in a specialized carrying case; they come alive once removed. Their weapons can do no real damage save to one another. Placing the corpse of a slain soldier back in the box, it “heals” by reverting to its inanimate state. The soldiers consider whoever carries the box to be their commanding officer. |
| 99 | A potted portal flower with the word “WATER ME” on a note tied to its stem. If watered, the flower rapidly grows into a gigantic arch of flowers that becomes a portal to one of the four Realms of Elfhame (roll 1d4): (1) Tír na nÓg, (2) Mag Mell, (3) Logris, or (4) Annwn. |
| 100 | A tiny stone sarcophagus containing a mummified cat. This is one of the ancient Cat Princes of New Ulthar, snatched from its tomb by Hexian robbers centuries past and now somehow lost from the museum. If placed in a building, all those who pass within will sicken and suffer terrible nightmares, losing 1 Constitution per day with no saving throw. Those who linger inside will worsen; those who perish of their sicknesses rise as undead. Only if the cat remains are properly interred will this curse be lifted. |
