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Soundtrack for areas 43-48

Combat Music

Overview

Previous: Areas 1-6, Areas 7-12, Areas 13-18, Areas 19-24, Areas 25-30, Areas 31-36, Areas 37-42

43. The Stoneflesh Maze

The light here is strange. Wrong. Shadows seem to bend in peculiar directions. The air tastes of something unfamiliar, unplaceable. You feel suddenly unsure of how you got here, unsure if you are even awake. Is this a dream?

Beyond the curtain, an otherworldly emptiness yawns, a starless black void. Suspended within it is an impossible intricate labyrinth of platforms, stairs, and walkways linked together in ways that defy the familiar natural order. Your mind aches even looking at the impossibly snarled architecture of the place, the walls of which pulse and throb with countless veins, a strange maze somewhere between flesh and stone. Some connect to bizarre structures that seem to hover in space. The song of the music box is louder, echoing from somewhere deeper within this unsettling place. A narrow stair winds up from the landing on which you stand to the rest of the maze.

Your body feels different, here – lighter – more plastic, as if something had occurred to the matter that made you up, or perhaps as if that matter were suddenly subject to different physical laws.

  • The demiplane of Excessus is not inside the Old City. Thus, the effects of Anachronosis, Dreams of a Dead Empire, and the Melchior Effect do not apply. Anyone suffering from stage 6 Anachronosis will not willingly enter the plane, since it would mean leaving the Old City. Doors never stonephase into the plane.
  • All Heal and Wound spells are twice as effective in Excessus.
  • Anyone who falls into the void eventually finds themselves lost in the Sea of Slumber, an oneiric ocean and interplanar conduit fed by rivers from the Dreamlands and the Netherworld. If they are lucky, they might be picked up by a passing vessel of the Oneiroi, who will take them to one of the ports in the Dreamlands. Less fortunate swimmers might be fished from the sea by one the barges of the damned bound for Pandemonium, or by some of the denizens of Excessus. Others still may drown in the sea of endless sensations, memories, suffering, ecstasy, and fantasy.
  • Upon first entering Excessus, roll 1d8 to determine the starting hour. The plane tracks time in 13-hour increments; track the time with a d20.
  • Navigating the Stoneflesh Maze is difficult. Rather than attempting to narrate every twist and turn – a potentially tedious activity for the Referee and player, especially given the twisted physics of the maze – the party can nominate someone to make decisions about which way to turn, who then makes Intelligence check with disadvantage to reach one of the distant landmarks visible upon entering, such as the Supper Club (area 46) or Meatchess board (area 44). On a success, the landmark is reached; on a failure, an hour is wasted, and the party rolls to see if they encounter something on the following table.
Roll (1d12)Encounter
1A roaming pack of 3d4 dogmen has sighted you and is now tracking you through the maze. These twisted creatures were once humans but have gradually transformed into quasi-canines, their bodies bristling with scabrous patches of mangy fur, bones reshaping from habitual quadruped locomotion, mouths become fanged muzzles. Despite their partial metamorphoses, they are still disturbingly human. They can speak various tongues but prefer to bark. An Intelligence save with disadvantage avoids the dogmen for 1 hour, but they will continue harrying the party while they remain in Excessus.
2A False Archway appears to lead into a tunnel; in actuality, the archway is a devouring maw in disguise. This requires an Intelligence save to detect as one enters the archway. On a failure, the archway closes after 1d4 individuals enter, revealing itself as a fanged mouth. A monstrous tongue whips out of the darkness. Each round, those inside the False Archway must make a Dexterity save or sustain 1d4 damage from chewing.
3The Celebrant Sinthome (area 45) wanders here, an ever-shifting creature whose precise bodily configuration alters when unobserved. They beg passersby to inflict pain upon them in exchange for guidance, leading them to a location of their choice within Excessus without need of another roll. See area 45 for details if one of the characters tortures the Celebrant.  
42d4 members of the Supper Club (area 46) taking a constitutional, attending by 1d6 Servants. They invite passersby to dinner. If this invitation is refused or the party is impolite, the Gourmands will attempt to make them a between-meal snack.  
5The Hungry Wind blows through the Stoneflesh Maze, requiring all who hear the horrid gnashing of its endless mastication to make an immediate Constitution save or take 1d6 piercing damage, bites appearing all over their bodies. Those who fail by 5 or more must also make a Strength save or be blown from their location, followed by a Dexterity save to avoid 1d6 falling damage as they land somewhere lower in the maze and must make an Intelligence check of their own with advantage to rejoin the party. If they critically fail both saves, they fall int the void (see above).  
6A group of 2d6 Fettered clatter through the maze on some errand of Concatenatus, the Hedonarch of this particularly fiefdom of Excessus. They appear as grey-skinned, hairless humanoids whose bodies have been pierced and wrapped with numerous chains, each trailing an impossibly long chain all the way back to the Palace of Chains (area 50). They attempt to restrain all they encounter to bring back to the Palace. If slain, a Fettered is pulled back to the Palace.
7The Red Rain begins to fall. It tastes of iron and salt and forbidden desire.  Those without mouth protection or who fail to take shelter may accidentally taste the rain and must pass a Wisdom save to avoid succumbing to a mania for violence. Those so possessed must attack the nearest creature and also regenerate for 1d4 Hit Points each round. Each round they make a fresh save to shake the effects of the Rain. The Red Rain continues to fall for 1d20 rounds.  
8Although you do not reach your destination, you reach somewhere else instead. Roll 1d4: (1) you are back where you started; (2) you at the exit; (3) you are at the next nearest major location in Excessus; (4) you are at another randomized location in Excessus.  
9You have become snared in an Infinite Loop which does not want to relinquish you. You must pass an Intelligence save with double disadvantage to exit the loop, each attempt taking an hour, unless you attempt to leap, fly, teleport, or otherwise navigate the maze.  
10A flock of paincrows flies overhead, looking for positive feeling to consume. They speak with the voices of lost loves, dead friends, and childhood bullies.  
11A Man o’ Joy drifts through the void, a pulsating jellyfish-like entity like a huge, pink hot air balloon crossed with a gigantic, beating heart, trailing a multitude of quivering, fleshy tendrils. It murmurs and coos disturbingly and seeks to caress those below. A creature absorbed by the Man o’ Joy who survives retains disturbing memories of its former victims, whose minds seem to have merged to form the being’s consciousness.
12A hairless cat with the face of a cruel child appears, licks its paw, and begins slinking through the maze, running away if chased. If followed, the cat leads the party to wherever they were seeking. If ignored, the party gains an additional die of disadvantage on its next check to navigate the maze. If killed, the cat curses the party to eternal double disadvantage while navigating the maze.  

Dogman, HD 1 (Hit Points 6), Bite (Str, 1d6), Speed 30 ft., Str 12 Dex 11 Con 13 Int 6 Wis 12 Cha 4.

  • Pack: When dogmen are flanking a foe, their Bite damage has advantage.
  • Tracking: Once dogmen have scented a party, they follow it unerringly unless destroyed or somehow deterred. They have advantage to Wisdom checks to discover hidden foes, using scent to do so.
  • Regenerating: Dogmen regenerate 1d2 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered fiends for the purposes of spells and magic items.

Tongue, HD 3 (Hit Points 16), Lash (Str, 1d8, 20-foot reach), Speed 0 ft., Str 14 Dex 6 Con 14 Int 1 Wis 4 Cha 1.

Fettered, HD 2 (Hit Points 12), Armour 1d3, 2 Chains (Dex, 1d6, reach 20 feet), Speed 30 ft., Str 11 Dex 13 Con 14 Int 4 Wis 13 Cha 4.

  • Fetter: If one of the Fettered hits with an attack, the opponent must make an immediate Strength or dexterity save to avoid being grappled and restrained. From that point on they can use the Escape action with disadvantage to try and get free.
  • Regenerating: The Fettered regenerate 1d2 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered fiends for the purposes of spells and magic items.

Flock of Paincrows, 3 HD (18 Hit Points), Peck (1d6), Speed fly 30 ft., Swarm (half damage from mundane weapons), Str 6, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 7, Wis 13, Cha 13

  • Fiends: Paincrows are considered fiends for the purposes of spells and magic items.
  • Swarm: The flock deals damage automatically to one creature which it follows but can be repelled for half damage by brandishing a weapon or torch, the latter of which damages the flock.
  • Tormenting Cry: The cry of the paincrow drains all joy. Instead of attacking, the flock can torment a target by spewing the most hurtful things others have ever spoken to them, reliving old memories, or plaintively calling out for help in pitiful mimicry of those the target grieves. The target must pass a Charisma save or sustain 1d4 Charisma damage. This regenerates at a rate of 1 per day. A creature reduced to 0 Charisma becomes catatonic and will be devoured by the crows.

Man o’ Joy, 6 HD (42 Hit Points), Armour 1d4, 6 Tendrils (Str, see below), Speed fly 20 ft., Str 15, Dex 6, Con 14, Int 13, Wis 13, Cha 13

  • Absorb: If the Man o’ Joy has someone in its tendrils, it can use an action to pull them up into its body, absorbing them. While so absorbed, creatures take 1d6 acid damage every round. An absorbed creature can be freed by killing the Man o’ Joy or by dealing at least 10 damage with a slashing weapon. If a creature regains control of themselves while inside the Man o’ Joy they can attempt to escape with a Strength check with disadvantage or by dealing 10 damage with a slashing weapon, hitting the creature automatically and ignoring armour.
  • Ecstasy: If the Man o’ Joy hits with a tendril, the target must pass a Charisma save or become filled with all-consuming pleasure for 1 minute, making all other action impossible. A target so delirious is restrained by the tendril.
  • Gigantic: The Man o’ Joy is Big in size and has a 20-foot reach. Attacks against it by smaller creatures hit automatically.
  • Regenerating: The Man o’ Joy regenerates 1d6 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. It can be considered a fiend for the purposes of spells and magic items.

44. Meatchess

An enormous chess set of irregular dimensions hovers impossibly in space, surrounded on all sides by the labyrinth. A variety of malformed creatures that seem to be hybrids of chess piece and humanoid are arrayed on the board. One side are skinless, flensed things with the heads and hooves of horses, their bodies livid red. The other side are skeletal, nothing but sinews and carven bone, strange growths like bishop’s mitres or crenellated battlements emerging from their swollen skulls. These sides of Flesh and Bone are each commanded by a gruesome King, each wearing a grotesque crown.

The game being played here is like some awful parody of chess. The rules seem different than the standard ones, and when pieces take each other, they physically fight, stabbing, trampling, or hacking each other to death. The board is spattered with blood and strewn with broken bones.

  • Various Celebrants often linger about the chessboard to spectate; Meatchess is a kind of decadent entertainment for the Celebrants.
  • If they see the party, the Kings of Flesh and Bone call out: “Bold champions! Come, prove yourself on the battlefield. Rich reward awaits you!”
  • If they step onto the board, they become participants in the game according to which side of the board they have stepped upon – there is a single rank of 13 spaces that is totally neutral dividing the two sides of 6×13 spaces each. Once they have picked a side, the party members, replace one of the Royal pieces according to the profession with the highest level, or the ability score with the highest score if they have equal levels in more than one profession:
Ability Score/ProfessionChess Piece
  Strength/FighterCentaur: can move any number of Knight moves in any direction.
  Dexterity/ThiefGargoyle: Can move along like a Queen but must always hop over another piece, landing on an unoccupied space beyond it or taking the enemy piece it finds there.
  Constitution/GuardianFortress: Can move as either a Rook or a Knight.
  Intelligence/WizardSage: Moves alternatingly as a Bishop or a Rook.
  Wisdom/CultistHierophant: can move as either a Bishop or a Knight.
  Charisma/WitchDemon: Moves like a pawn but captures like a Queen.
  • The board is laid out with a row of Pawns followed by the Royal pieces in the following order from left to right: Fortress, Centaur, Gargoyle, Demon, Sage, Hierophant, King, Hierophant, Sage, Demon, Gargoyle, Centaur, Fortress. Bone always goes before Flesh.
  • Meatchess is a hideous mixture of regular chess and gladiatorial combat. To play Meatchess, assuming all players are on the same side, the Referee assumes control of the opposite side, while the players take turns making moves. When one piece would take another, those pieces instead initiate combat; a ranged attack can precede movement, but the round must end with both pieces engaged in melee combat. At the end of each turn, all pieces presently engaged in combat also fight a combat round without moving from their positions. Keep track of all pieces each player character manages to take.
  • If any character moves in an illegal way or makes an illegal attack, the chessboard responds by impaling them with bony spikes which erupt from beneath their feet, requiring a Dexterity save to avoid 1d6 piercing damage, +1d6 for each previous infraction.
  • Characters may cast spells on themselves or allies even if not engaged in combat or not on the board. However, if they cast offensive spells on enemy pieces they are not engaging with, they have made an illegal attack.
  • Characters who attempt to interfere with a Meatchess game from outside of the board will instantly become targets for all pieces on both sides, who suspend the game until the threat to the game is dealt with before resuming their positions.
  • At the end of the game, dead pieces are revivified. Characters who died are likewise revived, but permanently become chess pieces, growing some of the characteristics of each piece, losing their skin or rotting away to become skeletons. Their remains must be stolen from the board to be raised from the dead.
  • Regardless of which side won, players collect prizes for each piece they took – see below. Each reward can be claimed only once and is distributed by the opposing King to the first character who slew a piece of the indicated type.

Pawn, HD 1 (Hit Points 8), Armour 1d2+1, Halberd (Str, 1d12), Str 9 Dex 8 Con 10 Int 6 Wis 8 Cha 6.

  • Promotion: If a Pawn reaches the back rank, it can become any piece other than a King.
  • Reward: The cursed Pawn’s Helm, an item which, if worn, turns the wearer into a puppet who follows any command issued to them. An initial Wisdom save is granted to immediately remove the helm; on a failure, the curse takes effect. Only by removing the helm is the curse lifted. The helm does add +1 Armour to the wearer.

Centaur, HD 3 (Hit Points 16), Armour 1d3, Hooves (Str, 2d6, 10-foot reach), Str 14 Dex 10 Con 12 Int 8 Wis 12 Cha 10.

  • Trample: If the Centaur kills an enemy piece, it gets an immediate extra turn.
  • Reward: The Centaur’s Horseshoe, which acts as the spell Tauric Transformation while worn about the neck on a chain or string. If worn for more than 13 hours in a single day, the wearer permanently shapeshifts into a horse and loses all memories of their previous life; Dispel can remove this effect, which is the equivalent of a 6th level spell.

Gargoyle, HD 3 (Hit Points 18), Armour 1d4, 2 Claws (Str, 1d6), Str 13 Dex 12 Con 13 Int 8 Wis 11 Cha 9.

  • Stoneform: If a Gargoyle has not moved or attacked in a previous turn, add 1d4 to its Armour. It has advantage on defense rolls.
  • Reward: The Gargoyle Mask, which lowers the Charisma of the wearer by 2, but allows them to appear exactly like a statue if they remain perfectly still, granting double advantage to Dexterity checks made to hide when not actively moving.

Fortress, HD 3 (Hit Points 20), Armour 1d6, Slam (Str, 1d12), Str 13 Dex 8 Con 15 Int 7 Wis 13 Cha 8.

  • Bastion: Other friendly pieces can climb into a Fortress and ride around atop its crenellated head if they end their move on it. They can leave the Fortress by moving away. While inside the Fortress, pieces move like the Fortress. Only Pawns and any creature with a 10-foot or greater reach can attack while inside the Fortress. Fortresses cannot climb into one another.
  • Big: The Fortress is Big in size.
  • Reward: The Stronghold Stone, a small stone which, if consumed, transforms the stone-swallower into a small castle complete with a miniature four-storey keep, battlements, portcullis, and bailey, with rooms to sleep a dozen people and stables for as many horses. The transformation processes takes 1 hour and lasts until the stone-swallower wishes to revert to their normal form. They are in full control of the castle while in stronghold-form, capable of opening and closing doors and even moving about the furniture, as per animated objects. Damage to the castle from siege weapons and the like depletes the character’s Hit Points by an amount determined by the Referee upon reversion unless repaired. Once the transformation has ended, the stone-swallower makes a Constitution save, adding +1 the roll for every day spent in fortress-form. On a success, they spit out the Stronghold Stone and may use it again; on a failure, the stone has been digested and dissolves.

Sage, HD 3 (Hit Points 12), Armour 1, Staff (Str, 1d6) or Puissant Blast (Int, 2d8), Str 10 Dex 12 Con 12 Int 15 Wis 12 Cha 11.

  • Apport: The Sage can use its move to switch places with a friendly piece.
  • Reward: The Blasted Staff, which can be used to produce a Puissant Blast with a range of 15/30 feet, dealing 2d6 damage and using Intelligence for the attack roll.

Hierophant, HD 3 (Hit Points 15), Armour 1d3, Mace (Str, 1d10), Str 13 Dex 10 Con 12 Int 10 Wis 15 Cha 13.

  • Fiendslayer: The Hierophant has advantage on all attack and damage rolls against fiends, including the Demon piece.
  • Reward: The Fiendslayer’s Mace, a mace that grants advantage on attack and damage rolls against fiends of all kinds, including Celebrants. A fiend native to the Netherworld reduced to 0 Hit Points by the Mace is banished back to Hell.

Demon, HD 3 (Hit Points 18), Armour 1d3, Trident (Str, 1d12, advantage on disarm attempts, 10-foot reach), Str 15 Dex 12 Con 13 Int 10 Wis 12 Cha 13.

  • Fiendish: The Demon is immune to fire damage.
  • Soul-Collector: If a Demon takes another piece, it can now move like that piece in addition to its own form of movement.
  • Reward: The Hell Key, a key of black iron which can be inserted into any lock. If turned, the door the key opens transforms into a portal to the Netherworld – specifically to the Embassy of Excessus in Pandemonium, the present capital city of the Commonwealth of Hell. The portal remains open until the door is closed. The key disappears in a puff of brimstone after use.

King, HD 6 (Hit Points 42), Armour 1d6, Sceptre (Str, 2d6), Str 16 Dex 11 Con 15 Int 12 Wis 14 Cha 16.

  • Edict: The Kind can cast the spell Edict at will.
  • Reanimate: The King can reanimate a fallen piece, either friend or foe, by arriving at its location and using an action. The reanimated piece has the same statistics as it did in life but becomes Undead (immune to mind-influencing effects, poison, and disease), and its Int, Wis, and cha drop to 6 each. This effect only works on the game board.
  • Reward: The Bonecrown or the Fleshcrown. These crowns endow the wearer with knowledge of the spell Reanimate Cadaver and grants advantage to remember the spell once it is cast with the Bonecrown allowing for the reanimation of skeletons and the fleshcrown of zombies. While the crown is worn, knowledge of this spell returns every 24 hours.

45. Torture Gallery

A series of bloodstained marble plinths are arrayed in this small courtyard.  A slab of stone at the centre is spread with a ghoulish collection of torture implements. Upon several of the plinths stand what at first appear to be statues, but which on closer inspection are merely pallid figures, hairless and horrendously scarred.

  • Three Celebrants commonly linger here: Sinthome, Parapraxis, and Acephalus. The first has features which subtly shift every time they are unobserved, including a variable number of limbs, heads, and other body parts. The second is covered in small mouths, which whisper constantly. The third has no head but functions normally. The Celebrants take turns standing on the plinths and torturing one another, often for the amusement of other Celebrants.
  • If one or more of the Celebrants is torturing the others, they will encourage passersby to engage in the same activity, assuring them that those on the plinths are there voluntarily.
  • If characters engage in torture, they must pass a Charisma save. On a failure, they find themselves unable to voluntarily stop, seized by a sadistic passion. Each hour, they gain an additional save to cease their activities. If forced to stop by companions, they are compelled to attack, possessed by a bloodthirsty mania. If the hour passes 13 o’clock and they still have not passed a save, they find themselves compelled to mount one of the plinths. The other Celebrants will then take turns reshaping their body, transforming them into a Celebrant themselves. The character becomes a fiend, gains Regeneration of 1d4 Hit Points per round, and gains some other set of abilities determined by the player and Referee. The character becomes bound to Excessus, unable to leave the plane for more than 13 days at a time. Only exceptionally powerful magic or divine intervention can reverse this effect.

Sinthome, HD 4 (Hit Points 18), 1d6 Claws (Dex, 1d4) or Torture Implements (Dex, 1d6), Speed 30 feet, Infravision 120 ft., Str 10 Dex 13 Con 16 Int 13 Wis 12 Cha 16.

  • Mutable Form: Sinthome is immune to any magic that might change their shape, since they can simply change it back.
  • Regenerating: Sinthome heals 1d4 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered a fiend for the purposes of spells and magic items.
  • Spells: Sinthome can cast the following spells using Charisma, rolling to remember them as a Witch and eschewing reagents: Elongate, Paralyze, Sicken, Withering Touch.

Parapraxis, HD 4 (Hit Points 18), 2 Torture Implements (Dex, 1d6), Speed 30 feet, Infravision 120 ft., Str 12 Dex 13 Con 11 Int 9 Wis 13 Cha 13.

  • Regenerating: Parapraxis heals 1d4 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered a fiend for the purposes of spells and magic items.
  • Spells: Parapraxis can cast the following spells using Charisma, rolling to remember them as a Witch and eschewing reagents: Jinx, Maniacal Laughter, Omen, Vilespew.
  • Whispers: Parapraxis whispers constantly in a variety of languages. They seem to mutter the deepest fears and most secret longings of whoever hears them. Anyone within 10 feet of Parapraxis must make a Wisdom save each round or become highly unnerved, suffering disadvantage on attack and defense rolls for that round.

Acephalus, HD 4 (Hit Points 18), 2 Torture Implements (Dex, 1d6), Speed 30 feet, Infravision 120 ft., Str 15 Dex 14 Con 15 Int 8 Wis 6 Cha 6.

  • Headless: Though capable of perceiving creature around them for 120 feet, Acephalus cannot see or hear as such and is immune to effects which target these senses.They are immune to mind-influencing effects.
  • Regenerating: Acephalus heals 1d4 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered a fiend for the purposes of spells and magic items.

46. The Supper Club

This baroque dining hall is adorned with murals depicting pastoral fields and bucolic landscapes filled with maidens and shepherds chasing one another gleefully about. The table is set for a grand banquet, with gleaming silverware and a fine white tablecloth, the food concealed by gleaming cloches. A large clock is evident in one corner.

Seated about the table, clad in exquisite finery that would not be entirely out of place in some of the grand estates and houses of Hex, are a series of slender creatures, thirteen in all. They appear near-human, but for one disturbing feature – their huge, toothy mouths, which take up more than half their faces. They lack all other features save for a perfunctory set of nostrils perched above their salivating maws.

  • These Celebrants are the Supper Club, also known as the Gourmands. They have no individual identities and may in fact be instantiations of a single entity.
  • The Supper Club cheerfully greet the party in Hexian and offer them a seat at the banquet table. Should they have a seat, the banquet commences. If they refuse, the Gourmands grow agitated, at first cajoling the party not to be rude, then insisting with increasing aggression that they partake.
  • Should the party accept the invitation, a series of impossibly emaciated servants clad in crimson livery shuffle forward to attend to the Gourmands and their guests. They have no mouths, but they obey all orders issued by the Supper Club and might be part of the same collective being.
  • The meals revealed are entirely of meat which, despite its preparation, seems to still somehow live. A heart beats in a tureen of blood; eyes bob in steaming broth, swiveling to and fro; meat quivers, flinching from the touch of the knife. When the meat is eaten, a severed head serving as centrepiece begins to scream.
  • As the meal commences, the murals on the walls shift, and the painted shepherds and maidens catch and begin to cannibalize one another.
  • Should anyone eat the meal, they pass a Constitution save or be filled with a ravenous appetite. Their Hit Points are instantly fully restored with the first bite. They must eat or begin to rapidly starve, sustaining 1d4 damage per minute unless they feast until full, an exploration turn (10 minutes). Anyone who survives this process finds their appetite assuaged.
  • Anyone who finishes an entire meal must pass a Charisma save or begin to transform into one of the Gourmands themselves. Their mouth becomes larger, and they gain a Bite attack (Str, 1d6). Their other features begin to diminish in size. If they remain in Excessus until 13 o’clock, the transformation is complete, and they become an eternal member of the Supper Club unless the Gastronome in the Kitchens (area 45) is killed.
  • Should the party refuse to eat, the doors to the banquet hall swing shut, and 6 Servants enter to join the fray. It takes a Strength check with advantage to open the door, revealing a blank wall which will only dissolve if the Supper Club are killed, the party slain or subdued, or if they form a Pact with the Gourmands. However, the wall can be smashed; it has 4 Armour and 20 Hit Points.

    Servant, HD 1 (6 Hit Points), Wrestle (Str), Speed 30 ft., Str 8, Dex 8, Con 6, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 4.
    • Regenerating: Servants of the Supper Club heal 1d4 Hit Points per round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered fiends for the purposes of spells and magic items.
  • In combat, the Supper Club will attempt to wrestle the party into seats, using their paralyzing tongues. Servants will be instructed to feed captive party members the feast.
  • The party may parlay for their lives by offering to bring the Supper Club fresh meat. Should they do so, the Gourmands insist that they swear a special Pact to this effect, pledging that they will return to this chamber with a living replacement for themselves within 13 days. Should they fail, they lose 1d6 Hit Points per day, bites being taken directly from their flesh wherever they are. A Phobish symbol appears somewhere on their body indicating that the Pact is active, which disappears only if the terms of the Pact are met or if dispelled (it counts as a 6th level spell). The Gourmands are particularly eager to dine on phrenomorphs or the undead organs of Zothotep the Hyperlich, which count as “living” for the purposes of the Pact.
  • Anyone killed or knocked unconscious during a fight wakes up hanging inside the Larder (area 48).
  • The Supper Club are a source of excellent gossip about the doings of other Celebrants and other matters throughout Excessus, Hell, and the Dreamlands. Those who converse with them can roll on the table below to determine what rumour they hear.

    Gourmand, HD 2 (Hit Points 12), Armour 1, Bite (Str, 1d6 plus poison) or Lick (Str, poison) and Knife (Dex, 1d4), Speed 30 ft., Celebrant (Infravision 120 ft., advantage on saves versus poisons and disease), Str 13 Dex 11 Con 13 Int 12 Wis 8 Cha 14.
    • Poison: Anyone licked by the Gourmands must pass a Constitution save or fall into a deep torpor until roused by damage or deliberate action. Bite attacks allow the defender advantage, and the slumber only lasts for 1 round.
    • Regenerating: Gourmands heal 1d4 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. They are considered fiends for the purposes of spells and magic items.
    • Swallow: A Gourmand who rolls a 6 for damage on its Bite swallows an enemy whole. A swallowed creature automatically takes 1d6 damage from stomach acid per round with no defense roll permitted. They can try to cut their way out with a slashing weapon, hitting automatically, but will find that the Gourmand’s stomach lining has Armour 2d4; however, if they deal 8 or more damage in a single round, they are freed. Otherwise, they can try to use the Escape action with disadvantage to free themselves through the oesophagus.
Roll (1d6)Rumour
1The Lord of Flies himself is soon to grace their table, one of the deposed Kings of Hell exiled to Dis by the usurpers in Pandemonium. They must ensure that particularly fine delicacies are prepared for the Archdemon of Gluttony himself!  
2Other members of the Frolic have been summoned to Hex before by some of its more powerful conjurors. Xavier Soulswell himself once conversed with the Mystagogue, while more recently the Diablomancer Archibald Slack has dined with the Supper Club during a drug-fueled dream.  
3Goblins of the Digger Clan – referred to by the Supper Club as “rude cyborgs” – are seemingly immune to the Yearning and have constructed machines that nullify Celebrant magic. The Celebrants despise thinking machines, automata, and constructs of all kinds, typically immune as they are to the pleasures of the flesh.  
4The Celebrant Destruda has not been seen in Excessus in some time. Many suspect they have become addicted to some new pleasure in the depths of the “Curiosity Shop,” which is what the Celebrants call the Apocalypse Archive.  
5  The Frolic remember the Librarians, who they called the “Professoriate.” They are unsure what occurred to them but recall that their efforts to corrupt them proved unsuccessful; the collectors lusted only for knowledge. The Frolic consider the Librarians equals and, in a sense, foils; where the Celebrants are dedicated to extreme pleasure in all its multifarious forms, the Librarians are similarly obsessed with science, often to a comparably destructive degree.  
6The Hedonarch of Chains, Concatenatus has lost their prized pear of anguish to mortal thieves and is offering great reward for its return.

47. The Kitchens

Pressing an ear to the heavy doors of the kitchens while a meal is being prepared (which is most of the time), one can hear muffled sounds of screams.

A chorus of anguished cries assaults the ears as the doors open. In contrast with the immaculate dining hall, the kitchens – if so they can be called – are revolting, resembling nothing more than a vast torture chamber. Filthy, blood-spattered slabs are strewn with organs and partially dismembered bodies. Mouthless, emaciated, spindly creatures butcher the bodies of various beings after anointing them with a series of oils dispended from a huge cask. Somehow, the bodies remain alive as they are painstakingly vivisected and then prepared for consumption: pickled in aspic, added to broths of blood and bone, seared, roasted, boiled, or simply sliced and served raw. Vast hearths blaze like the fires of hell along the walls. The screams are silenced by heavy cloches.

The head of the kitchens is a many-limbed monstrosity with a bulbous body swathed in blood-spattered chef’s whites. Unlike the other servants, it has a mouth, though this takes the place of where a head might be, a fanged hole where one would expect a neck. It barks orders to the staff while attending to the various dishes with its myriad limbs, each of its many hands clutching a different knife, mallet, cleaver, or other implement.

A heavy trapdoor is evident in one corner.

  • There is plenty of cooking equipment throughout the kitchen, including an inexhaustible quantity of knifes (1d4), mallets (1d6), or cleavers (1d8).
  • The cask of the Oil of Excessus replenishes itself at the stroke of 13. The oil does not provide healing or regeneration of any kind, but it does preserve life and sensation within the body of those upon whom it is poured, even if subjected to terrible dismemberment, burning, or other forms of harm. Anyone who consumes meat prepared with the oil risks becoming one of the Supper Club (see area 44).
  • In addition to the 6 serving staff, there are another 6 Servants (see area 44) here as kitchen staff.
  • The head chef is known as the Gastronome. Though in no sense the “leader” of the Supper Club, it functions as the psychic nexus for this particular group of Celebrants. It is capable of budding servants from its body should their numbers be depleted, and even if the Gourmands are all slain, anyone who eats from the meals it prepares will be transformed into a new member of the Club. Should the Gastronome be destroyed, the servants twitch and instantly die, while the Gourmands revert to their original forms with no direct memory of their time as the Supper Club, though their dreams will be forever haunted by the grisly banquets they enjoyed.

    The Gastronome, HD 6 (Hit Points 42), Armour 1, 3 Knives (Str, 1d4), 3 Mallets (Str, 1d6), 3 Cleavers (Str, 1d8), Speed 20 ft., Celebrant (Infravision 120 ft., advantage on saves versus poisons and disease), Str 15 Dex 12 Con 16 Int 8 Wis 8 Cha 13.
    • Big: The Gastronome has a 10-foot reach even before elongating.
    • Elongating: The Gastronome can extend its limbs to impossible dimensions. In lieu of moving, it can elongate any number of its limbs up to 20 feet per round, with no maximum length. Opponents parallel to an elongated limb can attack it with disadvantage; slashing weapons deal double damage.
    • Regenerating:  The Gastronome heals 1d4 Hit Points every round unless damaged by holy water or a Cultist’s Smite or Exorcism. It is considered a fiend for the purposes of spells and magic items.

48. The Larder

You step into a cavernous hall, too large to perceive the far walls clearly. Suspended by chains from the ceiling are countless hundreds – perhaps thousands – of what appear to be corpses, strung up like sides of meat upside-down by their ankles. None of them appear to be rotting, but they hang totally still and inert.

  • Close examination of one of the corpses and a successful Wisdom check reveals that the “corpses” are in fact people in a very deep torpor, their breathing and heartbeat massively slowed.
  • The beings here are of great variety. Some are sacrifices rendered up to the Celebrants; other were simply snatched from one of the many worlds the Frolic have infiltrated; others still have been acquired through trade with slavers from the Plateau of Leng in the Dreamlands, who know some traffic with Excessus in their tenebrous, transplanar galleys.
  • As one walks the length of the room, it seems to extend, its dimensions increasing, revealing more and more bodies suspended from the ceiling.
  • Rescuing these captives would be a massive undertaking. The captives are kept in a state of suspended animation and require virtually no food or drink to survive; merely waking them all would take days, and returning them to the surface would require a heroic effort. Even if the Gastronome and the rest of the Supper Club are destroyed, other Celebrants will take notice of such an attempt. Should the party truly commit to this, however, the rescued captives would effectively become a refugee population in Hex. Unless provided adequate housing they will likely form a rough camp outside the city walls, likely near the closest gate.
  • The hireling of the Gehenna Girls, Heinrich Frogvine, is among the victims here, a strong-backed human man with a short beard bearing the ox-skull tattoo of the Porter’s Guild, a venerable Hexian institution whose members haul treasure for adventuring parties venturing into the Old City. When the Gehenna Girls fled Concatenatus during a failed sojourn into Excessus, he became separated from the group and was quickly snatched up by the Supper Club. He desperately wants to get home, but he would also like to retrieve some of his baggage, which is hidden in the Nightmare Garden (area 49b). He will offer the party a portion of this treasure in exchange for helping him retrieve it.

    Heinrich, HD 2 (Hit Points 12), Armour 1 (leather), Club (Str, 1d6) or Dagger (Dex, 1d4), Speed 30 ft., Str 14 Dex 9 Con 13 Int 9 Wis 12 Cha 8.
    • Endurance: Heinrich adds his Constitution score to his Strength score to calculate your Encumbrance.
    • Mend: As a native Hexburgher, Heinrich knows a 1st level Wizard spell, Mend.
    • Equipment: Club, dagger, leather armour.