Tag: random tables

Hex Cabinet of Curiosities

On February 18, 2021

If characters in Hex search a random body, treasure chest, thief’s cache, cabinet of curiosities, or even a sewer-drain or trash-can, here’s a list of things they might find.

Roll (1d100)	Curios, Oddities, Tosh & Treasure
1	A small, framed painting of a castle, the details of which – the number of towers and parapets, the banners flown, siege weaponry on the battlements, and similar features – change subtly when no one is looking.
2	A cat’s skull on a catgut cord. Its wearer’s personality becomes subtly more cat-like over time, possibly due to the presence of a feline ghost possessing the talisman.
3	A gnomish pocket pistol small enough to conceal in a coat-sleeve.
4	An extremely graphic love letter between a demon and one of the Fair Folk, mentioning unknown orifices and appendages. Equal parts arousing and grotesque; oddly touching in places.
5	A book of matches that burn with a green flame and can only be quenched by blood, not water.
6	A tarnished pocket-watch that shows the time in the mortal plane and Elfhame simultaneously (Elfhame experiences seven times as much time as the mortal world).
7	A humorous ensorcelled cartoon strip about Cernuous Cedric the slug-about-town, a languorous libertine known for his lechery, taste for strong drink, and allergy to any form of labour. The strip speaks and animates when read, telling the story of one of Cedric’s disastrous affairs with the husband of Mordiggia, the Charnel Goddess.
8	A satyr statuette which increases the libido of everyone who sees it by fifty percent while it remains in line of sight.
9	A crumpled map of Corvid Commons marked with the entrances to the hidden shrines of the Shrouded Lord.
10	A tiny pouch of ghostdust which, if snorted, allows the user to see any nearby ghosts for ten minutes.
11	A grocery list which, halfway through, clearly becomes a list of ingredients for an occult ritual as it starts listing objects such as the blood of a murderer’s child, candles made from minotaur tallow, the tongue of a second-rate poet, a serrated knife, one set black robes, incense, an altar-stone quarried from Mount Shudder, salt distilled from virgin’s tears, etcetera.
12	A pepperbox pistol that can fire six shots before reloading. It currently has three bullets loaded, one of which has a curious worm-like sigil etched upon it. This bullet, if it hits a target, transforms into flesh-eating grub that deals an additional 1d6 piercing damage per turn until the target is dead or it is removed with a DC 15 Wisdom (Medicine) check.
13	A false eye with an iridescent iris. If placed into an empty socket it functions as an organic eye that can also see any invisible fairy creatures.
14	An ode to Genial Jack, the Godwhale, who swims the Sixty Seas with the city of Jackburg on His back and in His belly. Scribbled on the back is a mysterious phrase: “The tongues of the dead wag at midnight.”
15	A pocket-sized book devoted to the ancestry and heraldry of the vampiric Bloodlines of Erubescence. This copy has been annotated with cutting remarks about the various families, sometimes revealing embarrassing gossip or secrets.
16	A severed doll’s head whose expression mirrors the mood of whoever is looking at it.
17	A bone pipe carved with intricate crimson sigils; its smoke appears as writhing shades of the damned.
18	A 500-gp poker chip for the Behemoth Casino, with the eyes of the image of Behemoth scratched out.
19	A hard candy which, when sucked, changes the accent of the sucker for one hour. Insist that the player must use this accent if their character sucks on the candy.
20	A small, speckled egg. This egg will hatch into (roll 1d6): (1) a mundane chicken, (2) a tiny cherubic angel bearing strange prophecies and descriptions of the infinite heavens, (3) a miniature hydra, (4) a cockatrice, (5) a two-headed albino crocodile, (6) an evil spirit; while incubating, if held to the ear, it reveals the darkest desires and shameful secrets of the person nearest the one holding it.
21	A length of yarn that never tangles.
22	A club studded with extremely nasty spikes, coated with poison.
23	A magnifying glass that peers backwards through time up to one hour as you look through it.
24	A vest of putrecampus skin; treat as padded armour.
25	A bootleg quarto of Vittoria Wolfsheart’s plays The Thirteen Torments of Jacqueline Chandler, The Scarabs, The Miscreation, The Inquisition of Wolves, and The Gibbous Prince. The copies are poorly transcribed, riddled with errors and incomplete speeches.
26	A bewitched slip of paper which, if placed on the bark of a tree, reveals in writing the species of that tree.
27	A pamphlet put out by the Society for the Abolition of Demoniac & Infernal Servitude & Maltreatment arguing for the emancipation of summoned beings and the criminality of coercive conjuration.
28	A switchblade spoon.
29	A pink stone sculpture of an ear which grows warm when it hears false flattery.
30	A buckler with an animated face that makes rude grimaces, notionally to distract opponents but actually to show off in a duel.
31	A small black notebook with a mysterious list of names. The names change everyday. These names are the names of people who (roll 1d6): (1) owe money to the Horned League, (2) are having adulterous affairs, (3) died, (4) cheated at games of chance, (5) skipped a bar tab, (6) criticized the Hexad Council.
32	A skin of shadowmilk.
33	A phial of perfume that smells precisely like your mother.
34	A glass rattle filled with actual baby teeth. If rattled with an action, all incorporeal creatures within 30 feet must immediately use its reaction to move as far away from the rattle as possible. Each time this ability is used, one of the teeth disappears; there are currently 20 teeth.
35	A zombie tongue for licking stamps and envelopes.
36	A flask of endless soup du jour – the flask generates a new “soup of the day” at dawn. Many of them are viscerally unpleasant, but hey, free soup.
37	A dip pen that writes in blood, seemingly inexhaustible.
38	A dog-eared copy of Man of Her Dreams, a novel by Simone Vertices, in which the heroine falls in love with a man from her own dreams and quests through the Dreamlands to bring him into reality. Halfway through, a scrap of paper serves as a bookmark; upon it is written “Meet me at the Gilded Graveyard, north entrance, midnight. Bring shovel.”
39	A coin of the Old City, ancient beyond reckoning, though virtually untarnished. If dropped, it rolls towards the nearest entrance of the Old City – likely straight back into the sewer from which it was dredged.
40	A cursed child’s doll that produces real piss, swears like a sailor, and makes insulting remarks about all nearby; originally produced as part of an extremely ill-advised, deeply unpleasant, and utterly ineffective birth control scheme intended to reduce the population of the urban poor.
41	A wax cylinder recording of someone being tortured. Between their screams, they wheeze out the following words: “THE MEMENTO MORI! CELLAR! KEG! NORTHWEST CORNER!”
42	A bottle of limited-edition Moss Piglet Porter from Pustule Brewing, complete with novelty magnifying glass cap, produced during the company’s infamous Spontaneous Generation marketing campaign; collectors will pay handsomely for it, though actually drinking it might be ill-advised.
43	A toy mirror that causes a reflected visage to make grotesque faces.
44	A theatrical mask in the tradition of Ancient Penumbral Theatre; the mask changes expression to suit the performance.
45	A silver key with a coiled chameleon for a bow. This key fits into the next lock into which it is inserted, changing shape, but thereafter only fits that lock.
46	A torture implement, the pear of anguish.
47	A suppository of anti-putrefaction; if inserted into a corpse, any decomposition gradually reverses until the corpse is perfectly preserved as per Gentle Repose. If removed from the corpse, the corpse rots rapidly back to its previous state.
48	A pair of psychically weighted dice that always show the number the thrower visualized.
49	A fully-illustrated bestiary. Upon encountering a new monster, the bestiary has a 50% chance of having an entry for it, and another 50% chance of having accurate information pertaining to its strengths and weaknesses.
50	An animated manikin head intended for kissing practice. It is capable of coquettish speech and constructive criticism and offers three settings for the kisser-in-training: “Lips,” “Tongue,” and “Nibbling.”
51	A phial of Sap, an eldritch syrup harvested from the Elder Trees.
52	An envelope containing a series of highly incriminating umbratypes showing Hexad Council member Barnabas Grimgrove at the troglodytic brothel known as the Warren. These were in fact faked – the semblance of Barnabas was produced via illusion.
53	The deed to a mysterious abandoned house in the Dreamers’ Quarter, wrapped around the brass key to the front door.
54	A scrap of dirty parchment bearing a list of names, some of them crossed off. Investigation reveals all of the names on the list are dead people, mostly buried in the Gilded Graveyard. Those who have been crossed off have recently have their graves’ plundered, their bodies stolen. Further investigation still reveals that these were all jurors in the trial of Isabella Rasping, a necromancer convicted of using a zombies as murder weapons during the infamous “Meatpuppet Murders” two centuries ago. She was executed for the crime by her own creations. Isabella has returned as a revenant with unfinished business; she maintains her innocence and believes she can now prove it, and so is gathering the previous jurors for a kind of “retrial.”
55	A glass box containing a small spider, a gnawed human finger-bone, and curious webbing spelling out the words “I always loved you.” When fed humanoid remains, the spider spins elaborate webs spelling out the last words of whoever it consumed.
56	A dagger which cannot cut the flesh of humans or animals but deals 2d6 damage against Lengians or other creatures from the Dreamlands; its pommel is set with a tiny snowglobe within which is a model of the Plateau of Leng.
57	A slightly tattered but complete copy of a rare first printing of the Saga of the Sacred Cauldron, a chivalric romance recounting a quest in the realm of Elfhame involving such colourful characters as Bellstajj the Capacious, Blue-Eyed Molly, Fennrix the Blind, Fun Guy the Barbarian, the Knight of Harts Petalu Morriden, Susurrus Psithurisma, Weevil Stench, Wick the Silent, and the notorious Sparks & Mud.
58	A rude cartoon of the adventuring party, all of them mercilessly caricatured.
59	An anti-seed, grey and ominous-looking. If planted, it begins to kill all plant-life in a slowly-expanding radius, transforming the soil to poisonous dust. The seed itself blossoms on the Ethereal Plane into a grotesque, shadowy flower that slowly spreads more of itself, invisible weeds that expand the anti-seed’s aura of decay.
60	An eye-dropper filled with belladonna; this dilates the pupils, giving the eyes a pleasant sparkle, and only causes blindness if used quite regularly.
61	An article on the breeding habits of tunnelswine, partially peer-reviewed. The results look promising, but the reviewer has some questions about the Methods section.
62	A wheel of cheese veined with vivid green mould. If consumed, the eater must pass a DC 10 Constitution saving throw each day or begin to metamorphose into a plant-version of themselves, capable of photosynthesis and requiring regular rooting in good soil and plentiful irrigation. Three failed saves in a row completes the transformation, while three successful saves in a row fights off the parasitic growth.
63	An extraordinarily well-crafted dildo of polished ivory in a velvet-lined carrying case. If the correct command word is whispered – written in blood on a small slip of parchment hidden beneath the lining of the case – the incubus bound within the dildo manifests and the device becomes part of his body; if the command word is spoken again, the toy reverts to inert ivory.
64	A map of the city of Erubescence, marked with mysterious circles demarcating particular buildings. If investigated in the Red City, it can be discovered that such locations are safehouses for the Nightshade Society, a secret sect devoted to ending vampiric rule.
65	A list of results for fights in the Hellpits, each with an indicated date – in the future. All results will be proved completely accurate, allowing someone in possession of the list to bet heavily in favour of certain outcomes. These results are due to (roll 1d4): (1) match-fixing, (2) time travel, (3) skilled divination, or (4) artful magical sabotage.
66	A plain copper key, slightly warm to the touch. If used to unlock a door, that door will lead to a random layer of the Netherworld. The key disappears after use. If the door is shut and opened again, it ceases to function as a portal.
67	A book of poems, Six-Sided Satire, ruthlessly skewering Hexian culture and politics in perfect dactylic hexameter, the traditional meter of heroic Hexian epic. The text portrays Hex as a city of pompous intellectual parasites and thieves, feasting vulture-like on the ruins of older cultures, appropriating their knowledge as their own, and then condescendingly lecturing other states and peoples about the virtues of Hexian “free-thought” and “innovation.” The text is anonymously authored.
68	A fishbowl containing a dagonian tadpole, potentially stolen from one of the Hatcheries. It appears that a drop of curiously coloured blood has been added to the bowl.
69	A small flask of Lovewine, a rare pink vintage with heart-shaped bubbles which, if drunk, produces intensely romantic dreams. The hangover is quite rough.
70	A box containing a roach-like beetle with a red “X” marking on its back, with a small, separate compartment containing gold leaf. If released from the box, the beetle begins moving towards the nearest buried treasure and remains there until the treasure is exhumed. The treasure-beetle must be fed a steady of diet of gold leaf (10 gp/day) or it swiftly perishes.
71	A punch-card for an analytical engine. If placed into an automaton, the card changes that automaton’s personality to make them (roll 1d4): (1) murderous, (2) possessing an encyclopedic knowledge of all things arcane, (3) intensely pious, revering and proselytizing for the Church of the Magistra, (4) a jester with a wide repertoire of off-colour jokes.
72	A leather bone which squeaks when squeezed. Any dogs within earshot of the toy become charmed as per the spell Animal Friendship (DC 12). This only works on domesticated canines, not wolves, wild dogs, or similar creatures.
73	A six-sided Hexchess set with purple, orange, green, pink, black, and grey pieces. If a game is played wherein the pink pieces win, a hidden compartment in the board opens, revealing (roll 1d6): (1) a diamond worth 1,000 gp, (2) a map of Delirium Castle which changes as the castle’s eldritch architecture shifts, (3) a piece of vellum upon which is written a demon’s True Name, (4) an eyedropper of Wraithsbane, a poison which can deliver a second death, (5) the signet ring of elfin royalty, (6) Deck of Many Things.
74	A human skull with a strange sigil carved into the forehead. Each night at midnight, the skull vomits forth some variety of creeping vermin. If someone smashes the skull, they will be devoured from the inside-out by flesh-eating insects at midnight unless Remove Curse is first cast upon them; all that remains is their skeleton, their skull carved with the same strange sigil as the skull they smashed. Their skull now vomits forth vermin. The Church of Mordiggia desire this relic and will demand its return if they learn of its existence.
75	A key to Cell Block D of Spellcage.
76	A battered old music box. It plays an eerie tune which, if listened to continuously for more than a minute, produces intense feelings of nausea and induces vomiting for 1 turn.
77	A bewitched letter which appears to be addressed to whoever is currently holding it, describing their features and personality in adoring terms.
78	A fashion magazine, Rich Filth, describing the latest trends for the ultra-wealthy, including the most recent Slimewear, Cathedral Chic, and Roachdress looks, as well as even more outré fashions such as “Patching,” which involves magically transplanting patches of flesh (usually taken from corpses) to one’s body in peculiar designs.
79	A pale grey pill stamped with a little skull. This is a zombie lozenge; if placed in the mouth of a corpse, the body revives enough to answer one question as per Speak with Dead.
80	An automaton crab. If wound up with the key in its brass carapace, it will menace any nearby animals with its snappy little mechanical claws.
81	A beautifully carved wooden prosthetic arm fitted for a Small creature, etched with tiny runes in ancient High Goblin, a language now all but forgotten along with the proud culture that produced it, who some say were forerunners of goblins and gnomes alike. If attached to a torso missing an arm, the prosthesis animates and becomes a perfectly useable arm which, when used to wield a weapon, acts as if it had Strength 20; the creature’s Strength is otherwise unaffected unless the arm is exclusively being used for a check.
82	A wedding dress, quite exquisite, which miraculously fits a bride of almost any size. Unfortunately, the dress curses any marriage it touches, dooming one of those wed to an early death, often at the hands of the other.
83	A crying child in a small basket. The child is (roll 1d6): (1) a changeling, (2) a doppelgänger spy from Idolum, (3) a remarkably life-like automaton, (4) a ghost which possesses anyone who gives it suck, (5) an alchemist who accidentally de-aged herself during an attempt to produce a Philosopher’s Stone, (6) a perfectly normal child, apparently abandoned, with a rather foreboding dragon-shaped birthmark.
84	A small box of elfin salt which, if sprinkled over a meal, instantly makes it taste absolutely delicious and even purifies spoiled food, but also completely deprives the provender of any nutritive value.
85	A small crystal which, when peered through, appears to show alternate universes. Actually a fragment of a much larger crystal, part of a complex device deep in the Old City.
86	A taxidermy wolpertinger – a hybrid of rabbit, bird, squirrel, and deer – native to Mooncalf Valley.
87	This book of history seems to detail an epoch approximately 2,000 years from the present and has been rather clumsily translated into Hextongue. Current powers and states are still vaguely visible in this future time, but have become barely recognizable. Flip a coin; heads, this is a work of artful science fiction; tails, a translation from an authentic future history procured via time travel.
88	A well-oiled pilliwinks for crushing thumbs.
89	A piece of amber. Suspended inside it are what appear to be miniature adventurers – one for each player. Should the amber be smashed, the adventurers are freed and return to normal size, explaining that they ran afoul of some sinister machine in the Old City, from whence the amber was retrieved. Have your players generate these new characters (pick a level), who promise the other party that before their miniaturization and imprisonment, they discovered a fabulous trove of treasure beneath the city, which they would share as recompense for their freedom. Should the party embark on this quest, run it as a brutal funnel and warn your players in advance.
90	A bottle of minotaur milk.
91	This stained manuscript is fan fiction for the popular and long-running Wendolyn the Werewolf sequence of serialized romantic novels.
92	A snowball warded such that it cannot melt. At its centre is a small glyph-etched stone.
93	A small pouch containing a handful of moss crusted with what looks like dried blood. The blood was in fact taken from a patricide, the moss from a hangman’s tree; the combination makes this quite a valuable reagent to the right buyers.
94	A tin of rare green tea from the distant Occident.
95	A half-melted bust from the Midden with features made so grotesque they are now unrecognizable. If placed such that the bust can see someone while they sleep, that individual will experiences extremely strange and powerful dreams with minor prophetic power. When such a dream is experienced, have all players contribute one potential prophetic element, and then randomize which of these predictions will come true.
96	The death mask of a forgotten archwizard. Sleep with the mask placed over your face and you wake with some of his knowledge. Replace all class levels with wizard levels after at least 8 hours of sleep wearing the mask. Your levels revert after another night’s sleep without the mask. Sleep with the mask on your face three nights in a row and it disappears, making the change permanent.
97	A small box of tapeworm eggs.
98	A collection of animated toy soldiers, complete with distinct personalities, in a specialized carrying case; they come alive once removed. Their weapons can do no real damage save to one another. Placing the corpse of a slain soldier back in the box, it “heals” by reverting to its inanimate state. The soldiers consider whoever carries the box to be their commanding officer.
99	A potted portal flower with the word “WATER ME” on a note tied to its stem. If watered, the flower rapidly grows into a gigantic arch of flowers that becomes a portal to one of the four Realms of Elfhame (roll 1d4): (1) Tír na nÓg, (2) Mag Mell, (3) Logris, or (4) Annwn.
100	A tiny stone sarcophagus containing a mummified cat. This is one of the ancient Cat Princes of New Ulthar, snatched from its tomb by Hexian robbers centuries past and now somehow lost from the museum. If placed in a building, all those who pass within will sicken and suffer terrible nightmares, losing 1 Constitution per day with no saving throw. Those who linger inside will worsen; those who perish of their sicknesses rise as undead. Only if the cat remains are properly interred will this curse be lifted.

Encounter Tables from the Hex Gazetteer

By Bearded-Devil

On January 1, 2021

In Roleplaying

Work continues, slowly but surely, on the Hex Gazetteer. I thought I’d share some encounter tables for two districts, Mooncross and Suckletown – the first is a waterfront neighbourhood filled with cafes and artisan’s workshops and little bars, built around primordial monoliths that have covens of independent witches devoted to them. The latter is a rusted-out industrial district fallen into abandonment and poverty after the Elder Tree at its heart died, petrifying to become the Withered Tree. Most districts in Hex will receive similar tables, along with a table of adventure hooks, and of course the street-by-street descriptions.

Mooncross Encounters

Roll (1d20)	Encounter
1	A magically awakened mural depicts a fully functional farming village, a bucolic idyll quite at odds with the greasy metropolis surrounding it. The cheerful painted residents greet passersby with folksy idioms and local gossip.
2	The Fair Folk performers known as the Headless Troupe are doing their bizarre juggling act at a street corner. At the end of the performance, their severed heads hold out their tongues for coins. Especially generous donors may receive something in return – a Fairy secret, a glowing bauble, a tattered map to some treasure in Elfhame, or similar marvels.
3	A trash-can mimic lurks here, a tempting jeweled pocket-watch worth 100 gp atop the heap of garbage inside it as bait.
4	A tiny cult has sprung up worshipping stray cats. Dozens of saucers of milk and several hundred dead rats (both cooked and raw) have been set out in a strange shrine adorned with images of the cats in chalk, paint, and blood. The cult believe that these strays are the secret rulers of Hex, kin to the magical Cat Princes of New Ulthar. The cats do seem unusually alert. In fact, the high priest is dosing their milk with an intelligence-enhancing potion…
5	A nest of miniature raven-winged pegasi (no larger than crows) can be spotted in the eaves of a nearby building; they are delighted by oats, carrots, and shiny objects, and are frightened by waspkin.
6	A murder of jinxcrows, heads swollen with spells, cast Firebolts and Magic Missiles at a trio of cheeky seagulls attempting to feast on the spoils of a maggot-ridden cat.
7	Marion Bracewind sells fish and frogs caught in the Radula. These being Hexian animals, many are magically deformed, with extra fins, the heads of human babies, strange proboscises, tiny bat-wings, and similar mutations – the result of alchemical by-products regularly dumped in the river.
8	A side-street leads into a maze whose dimensions should be spatially impossible given the surrounding layout. Randomly generate a maze (online generators are helpful here!). The only way to exit the alleyway is to navigate the maze to its other exit – the way in appears as a blank brick wall, and climbing or flying is impossible, as the walls grow ever higher. A minotaur, Atta, lives here, but he is generally friendly and eager for the company – he cannot leave the maze, but is acquainted with many of the locals, and his lair is occasionally used by thieves as a dead drop. He cannot advise the party on an exit, as the maze changes regularly.
9	A mysterious bank of mist swallows anyone who steps into it and deposits them in Gloomway.
10	A philosophical debate over whether the true nature of the world-in-itself can be rationally deduced a priori or whether we can only ever receive phenomenological knowledge via the senses has snowballed into a full-blown brawl, with one thinker threatening to show another “the true face of the Absolute” with a broken bottle.
11	A dozen broken dolls are heaped in a grubby pile nearby. The insides of their hollow bodies bear residues of Ghostdust. An Investigation check reveals that one is still full of the stuff – the drug is worth 100 gp, and if sniffed, allows the user to peer into the Ethereal plane.
12	Psychic graffiti. Ask the players to write down or draw what their characters are thinking as they enter; this graffiti appears on the walls for all to see.
13	A spellshower has caused thousands of mouths to grow on the buildings here. Their jabbering fills the air with mindless chatter and halitosis. If one of the mouths is fed, it may temporarily speak enough sense to offer the party advice, divulge a secret of the city, or cast a minor, beneficial cantrip.
14	Two rival witches’ covens, the Frogsfeet and the Stardaughters, bicker over which coven filled out the paperwork to book a Sabbath at a nearby monolith. If no one intervenes, curses might be exchanged.
15	A stack of newspapers moulders on a street-corner. The newspapers are from two weeks’ hence, each issue prophesying some strange disaster – a flood of sentient marmalade, an invasion of trees, a raid from distant Pellucid with its evil machines, an outbreak of Wraithwaste that leaves whole districts of people permanently invisible. Are these some elaborate hoax? Artefacts left by time travelers?
16	Pulsating greyish-pink moss coats the walls of buildings and cobblestones. It is parasitic, draining spellcasters of their spell-slots beginning with the highest – one per turn unless a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw is passed. With each spell absorbed, the moss grows another foot.
17	A one-armed fairy knight, Sir Jonquil, offers his services on a street-corner, boasting that he is a stronger swordsman one-handed than any two-handed mortal. He charges an exorbitant 1000 gp per day but is indeed skilled beyond any mortal measure with a blade.
18	A gaggle of geese wander the street. Made semi-sentient from arcane runoff, they harass passersby with lewd jokes, peck at young children, terrify the elderly, and molest everyone else. Their shit is instantly everywhere. Shopkeepers will pay a small fee for the geese’s slaughter or removal.
19	Dense foliage chokes an alley off the street, alive with birdsong and the buzz of insects. Some spell-gone-wrong has turned the gap between buildings into a fetid jungle, complete with exotic birds and other animals. Venturing within may alert the two-headed tiger (as a standard tiger but with two bite attacks) that slumbers lazily within the deepest parts of the miniature rainforest.
20	A fractured mirror leans against one dingy wall of a nearby building. Anyone peering into it catches a glimpse of one possible death in their own future.

Suckletown Encounters

Roll (1d20)	Encounter
1	Two miasmentals inhabiting the bodies of members of the Beggars’ Guild have a gleeful fight with broken bottles in an alleyway, joyfully slashing at one another to experience the novelties of pain and mutilation.
2	A parade of worshippers from the Cultists’ Quarter winds ill-advisedly through Suckletown, the papier-mâché length of the Hundred-Headed God held up by two dozen cultists.
3	A broken-down clockwork automaton languishes in a puddle, its limbs rusting, its ornate mechanical brain slowly winding down; for all the world it resembles an abandoned toy discarded by a cruel and careless child. It can be repaired with a DC 15 Dexterity check using tinker’s tools, or with five castings of Mending. Its owner, Seraphina Opalfire, has been dead for some time; the automaton was sent out for alchemical reagents, but was waylaid by anti-automaton protestors and hobbled. If repaired, it becomes the servant of its saviour.
4	Amidst the ruinous husks of industry in Suckletown, a mysterious factory seems to have started up again, its windows filled with light. Sounds of machines churning echo from within. Locals look on the place with fear, claiming that those who enter do not emerge, but become recruited to work for all eternity by a shadowy figure known as the Foreman who can be glimpsed from a high window late at night. What the factory produces and where its goods are sent remains unknown.
5	Two Roofsguard, Mina Quench and Josephus Stonesky, were hired by rival gangs; they duel over a block of buildings, chasing one another from roof to roof and sending arrows flying. If one of them is assisted in defeating the other, they will give anyone who helped a cut of their profits from the job (50 gp).
6	A building has gotten so decrepit and rotten that is falling down, requiring a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw to avoid 2d6 bludgeoning damage from debris. Within the wreckage can be scavenged 1d100 gp and a Potion of Climbing, leftover from a dead thief’s cache.
7	Rogue hunting trash is rapidly gobbling up street-detritus and people into its pastiche body of wood, bones, glass shards, quivering sinews, nails, and rotting garbage. Snared amidst its variegated form is a bone amulet carved into the shape of a fish; its wearer loses the ability to speak all languages, save those of water-breathing creatures, including fish, cephalopods, crabs, and the like. Once worn it cannot be removed. save by severing the head of its wearer.
8	A sewer nymph, Greasy Georgina, has been left stranded in the street and is slowly “drowning” in the open air. Anyone brave enough to approach the putrid creature and help her back to the sewers will be rewarded with her affection and any boon she can bestow.
9	Demonic symbols drawn in blood cover the bricks of a nearby alleyway. Here and there, a brick is missing; placed in the hole is a humanoid body part such as a finger, eyeball, kidney, tooth, tongue, ear, toe, or nose. A wizard who makes a successful DC 20 Intelligence (Arcana) check can extrapolate the symbols into spell form as Conjure Lesser Demon.
10	Two members of the Beggars’ Guild, Skully and the Whistler, are intimidating a freelance pauper with knives, wooden planks, and a giant attack-rat on a leather leash.
11	A group of vagrants, street children, and other locals bet on a fight between a three-headed pit bull and a swarm of rats in the middle of the street. Among the gambled objects is the skull of a child, which sings what might be lullabies or mysterious hymns in a forgotten language.
12	The sewers have flooded this entire area, filling it with filth and murky alchemical sludge with similar effects to a spellshower. Rats who were caught in the arcane effluent are sloughing off their skins and starting to set up a symposium on the nature of eudaimonia, while a sodden newspaper saturated in the slime is rearranging its letters into what appears to be a religious tract revering a machine-god from the future instructing its followers in how it might be created.
13	A thrum addict has overdosed, spasming in and out of physical reality too rapidly to track, a flailing mass of phantasmal limbs and juddering abreal flesh. This poor wretch – Dexter Scruple – can be treated using a DC 10 Wisdom (Medicine) check or spells such as Dispel Magic or Protection from Poison. If untreated, he stumbles into the wall and materializes in a hideous spectacle of broken bones, blood, and brick-dust.
14	A grim band of twelve cutthroats bedecked with holy symbols sell phials of vampire blood and undead organs harvested from their victims. They call themselves the Garlic-Eaters and are trying to establish themselves as mercenaries and local toughs; they are led by Abra Blackblossom, an exiled Erubescent revolutionary. A phial of blood functions as a potion of Common Healing (2d4+2 hit points) and sells for only 10 gp per dose.
15	A Broken Glass Golem half-drags, half-rolls itself down the street, smashing windows to add to its body. It is not aggressive towards living creatures unless attacked and speaks with a voice like shards of glass scraping together in crudely fragmented Common, beseeching passersby for glass trinkets to add to its body. Medium construct, AC 14 HP 50 Spd 10’ Atk +6 (2 slam attacks) Dmg 1d8+4. 700 XP.
16	A band of 2d6 pallid, scarified Brickwoses led by the sewer princess Sludgepearl scavenge for food and detritus down a side-street. They will happily attack groups they outnumber, but rapidly flee if outmatched; if approached peaceably they may barter for scrap, food, and weapons.
17	Half a dozen Graveyard Girls have cornered three of the Filthy Fingers after a nasty little turf-skirmish. The Girls, triumphant, are cutting off the pinkies of the Fingers as gruesome trophies of their victory. They are led by a lieutenant of the gang, Christabel Rottenclock, whose burn-scarred face is always illuminated by a lurid grin, and who wields a serrated hand-axe with ferocity and fervour.
18	A pair of heimgeists battle for territory, the two ramshackle monstrosities scuttling back and forth and ramming one another, their zombie inhabitants scrambling over the stamping, charging knots of wild architecture.
19	An outbreak of Crownpox is spreading along this street – the Monarch’s Malady. Its sufferers all possess ornate crowns growing from their scalps, and have been seized by the delirious belief that they are kings, queens, and emperors. They loudly issue orders to all within hearing, demanding taxes, and are attempting to organize wars and marriage alliances with their neighbours to establish dynasties and borders.
20	A shrine to the Polypous Princess is evident in a carved niche. The icon in the shrine is a twisted congeries simultaneously arousing and terrifying. Sacrifices of coins, nail-trimmings, and the organs of stray animals are heaped before it. Sufficient sacrifices will Bless a supplicant for 30 minutes.

1d100 Characters & Crooks in Hex

By Bearded-Devil

On December 14, 2019

In Roleplaying

*Palace-Pate and Chantarelle Tombsworth, two of Hex’s many colourful characters.*

My approach to DMing favours the specific over the procedural. However, like any DM I still enjoy a random table from time to time.

I’m planning on including various tables like this in the Hex Gazetteer. The goal will be to provide DMs with a very quick but very unique, quirky, interesting NPC every time without having to make multiple rolls for species/profession etc. The same philosophy will be applied to encounters and events to make the city feel like it’s overflowing with strange delights and horrors round every corner. The sheer volume of them, like the sheer size of the map, should make Hex feel inexhaustible without using procedural generation techniques.

*“What’ll it be, miss? We’ve got Sarcophagus Ale and Blackeak Brew on tap – and a nice case of Erubescent claret in just Mazeday last…”*

1d100	Character
1	Sir Aart Vex, a Slumsknecht – a gnome lancer clad in scavenged oddments of armour and riding a giant rat steed. Eager for adventure and possessed of an antique and lunatic chivalry. Charges a 5 sp toll for use of his “manorial alleyway.”
2	Blind Sheila, a gorgon whose eyes have been removed and whose serpents have all been defanged, snapping gummily at any who touches them. Sheila’s a member of the Beggars’ Guild and knows many strange secrets from the world’s youth which she’ll divulge for those with sufficient coin.
3	Imogen Lowchurch, last surviving member of the Sixty-Six Rodents, a gang the Crowsbeak Thieves’ Guild destroyed in the Moulting War between criminal organizations in Corvid Commons. Grimy, vicious, wanted by the Crowsbeak, and filled with righteous vengeance. She lives in the sewers, having escaped the wrath of the victors above.
4	Sebastian Rut, cambion artist and hired assassin, exquisitely handsome and perfectly merciless. Long black hair kept in flowing curls around his delicate ivory horns. He paints macabre masterpieces with the blood of his victims. Wanted with a 1000 gp reward; rates vary from 100-500 gp for assassinations.
5	The Husk, an otherwise nameless man who wanders Corvid Commons with ponderous tread, enormous cysts slowly growing on his exposed skin. These cysts are actually incubating the larvae of a being the Husk refers to as “the Angel” which he claims to have met in the Old City. When the cysts pop, the larvae emerge – whining worm-things with grotesque little humanoid faces, like monstrous “Cherubim.” The Husk nurtures these beings somewhere in his underground dwelling, a sewer-hovel he calls “the Cathedral.” No one has seen one of the creatures pupate.
6	Stained Bill, a wild-eyed vagabond, mute, with swirling, magical discolourations all over his skin. The amorphous patterns leech into any organic matter he touches, causing people to grow feverish, fruit to rot, meat to spoil. Reputedly an adventurer whose entire party disappeared in the Old City; only he returned.
7	Zelda Scratch, a bearded lady and footpad; she skulks in the shadows, twirling her goatee in one hand and her blackjack in another, waiting for likely marks to cosh and rob. Wanted for theft, for a 50 gp reward if brought in alive.
8	Lizzie Sneer, a twelve-year-old pickpocket and member of the Jackdaws with a +6 to Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) checks and a taste for expensive jewellery, some of which often decorates her ears, neck, and fingers, despite her otherwise bedraggled appearance.
9	Rumkin the Bold, a waspkin youth with delusions of chivalric heroism and a sword frankly far too big for him. A useful hireling on sojourns to dangerous locales. Absurdly muscular for a tiny waspkin.
10	Adrianus Gaunt, a veteran of the Moon Wars and member of the Beggars’ Guild. His time in the Wolsfwald on the borders of Erubescence left him badly scarred and afflicted with lycanthropy, which he treats with a diet of wolsfbane and powdered sliver; nonetheless, he is subject to partial transformations into lupine form, his teeth occasionally becoming fangs, patches of fur sprouting across his body. If caught by the Warders or City Watch he would doubtless be quarantined in Catch All.
11	Matthias Wode, disgraced City Watchmen, drunk, thrum addict. His limbs gradually fade as his beard and hair lengthen and his mind and liver rot. Does occasional work for the Crowsbeak Guild, whose bribery cost him his job.
12	Toothless Gwen, a wizened, grey-haired soothsayer, can cast Augury for a mere 10 gp, throwing a handful of her own loose, glyph-etched teeth against the wall of the alleyway to prophesy weal or woe.
13	Jenny Greenbeast, a Crowsbeak thief cursed by a magistrate for her crimes with the Curse of Terrible Volume: every breath, word, stomach-grumble, or sneeze she issues is deafeningly, astoundingly loud.
14	The Possum, true name unknown; an escaped inmate from the Institute for the Magically Insane. Due to an enchantment-gone-wrong he believes he is literally a possum and can be found hanging upside-down in unusual places. A member of the Beggars’ Guild, though not an especially productive one.
15	Sir Bartholomew Meddling, a Slumsknecht obsessed with justice, who enforces ludicrous feudal laws within his tiny demesne, wielding a massive zweihänder as he serves as judge, jury, and executioner.
16	Chanterelle Tombsworth, one of the few ghoul courtesans outside of the slums of Shambleside – an “exotic” companion working at the Black Leash, said to have studied for several years at the Académie Macabre before a scandalous expulsion. Rumour has she is the latest muse of Vittoria Wolfsheart, Hex’s foremost playwright of gruesome tragedies and twisted dark comedies.
17	Chartreuse, a fungoid footpad who confuses their marks with clouds of soporific spores.
18	Father Ezekiel Mottlehead, a vagabond priest of the Hanged God, wanders Corvid Commons with a sacred noose around his neck, preaching the doctrine of his strange northern deity and offering to perform hanging rituals to induct passersby into a new order. The official Church of the Hanged God in Trollhome have disavowed his activities.
19	Snips, a rogue barber-goblin from Delirium Castle. He gives excellent haircuts with his sharpened nails and teeth for only 1 sp.
20	Winnie Coldpalm, a ghoul scavenger fresh from the catacomb. Sells corpses stolen from the crypts for 25 gp each. She idly chews on the merchandise.
21	Margery Shackleton, a cheeky Roofsguard who likes practicing her archery on rats and other vermin from several storeys up. Has been known to shoot hats off heads or weapons from hands.
22	Zibb, a homeless gutterpuck. He rapidly changes forms – donkey, dog, cat, giant cockroach, pigeon – to delight passersby. The Beggars’ Guild usually don’t mess with fey, but his gig is becoming profitable enough to attract their ire.
23	Buggle Fogwit, a slack-jawed, fish-headed dagonian member of the Stench, whose mildew reek is coupled with a disgusting piscine stink. Fights with a spiked club with poisoned spikes.
24	Gregor “Whipstitch” Scald, one of the Bonesaw Boys, whose favoured weapons are sharpened surgical scissors wielded like punching daggers and who has developed a taste for humanoid kidneys.
25	Telepathic Tabitha, a mind-reading vagrant and Senior Mendicant in the Beggars’ Guild; can cast Detect Thoughts at will for only 1 sp per minute.
26	Brother Gloaming, a monk dedicated to the Shrouded Lord, known to appear when sacrifices are left at twilight. His features are obscured by the black garments of his order, but his voice is thin and needle-like. He has been entrusted by the Shrouded Lord with knowledge of bloodlines – calling on the power of the Unspeakable One, he can tell any person the names of their parents and grandparents.
27	Archibald Slack, a balding, clever-faced conjuror from Fiend’s College, often found perusing the length of Tatterwing Way in search of banned grimoires that even his institution’s library won’t stock. Has a toad-like imp named Skroi for a familiar.
28	Simone Vertices, a wide-eyed gnome novelist slumming it in Corvid Commons, often found scribbling down stories in the dark corners of the Thieves’ Quarters seediest bars. She is reputedly working on a romance about Crowsbeak and Ravenswing thieves falling in love, the aptly titled Love Among Thieves.
29	Theophilus Grubby-Hook, a philosophical cutthroat and leader of the Tailfeather Fops, much given to existential navel-gazing after relieving his victims of their purses or lives. Blonde, pretty, and terribly tiresome at parties.
30	Patience and Languor Weevilbane, conjoined twins in the Ravenswing Thieves’ Guild renowned for their good looks and expertise in picking locks. The Weevilbane twins each have +8 to checks to open locks and are surprisingly nimble.
31	Nurse Nigella Mothsbrain, the only female member of the Bonesaw Boys. She’s quick with the chloroform and gas grenades – both useful for subduing potential victims – and an ether-addict, much given to ether frolics.
32	Jorok Mosshide, a trollblood brawler and drunken lout prone to making outrageous and dangerous bets when he’s in his cups (which is always).
33	Verena Ratsbabe, a rag-and-bones woman and scavenger from the Midden; one of her hands has wriggling centipedes in place of fingers, courtesy of the eldritch pollution in that district. She sells various curios and junk, some of it magical, often at bargain prices.
34	Desdemona Subtlety, a fence specializing in jewellery and objets d’art. She wears an elaborate porcelain mask magically animated to move with her features; none know what her true visage looks like. Some claim she is one of the Fair Folk.
35	Anaximander Thrush, Solicitor – a lawyer with offices in Golemsgate, frequently to be found in the Witching Hour and other establishments meeting clients. Corpulent, friendly, incredibly intelligent, with a selection of fabulous wigs.
36	Bonifacius Lamentable, a bony leech-collector, often seen on Widdershins Way hawking his wares to the sick. He shambles out to the Radula every dawn, wading into the shallows to attract each day’s catch; his legs are badly scarred as a result.
37	Prowl the Silent, a waspkin pickpocket missing her wings – they were cut off by the Bonesaw Boys and sold to the alchemist Angelique Duvide for her shop, Queen’s Crimson. Prowl runs with the Jackdaws and is a favourite of Sly Rufus. +7 to Dexterity (Sleight of Hand).
38	Yawp, a Brickwose on a shamanic quest from his tribe, the Bat-Eaters. Missing his ears, covered in elaborate ritual scars, and seeking the head of Agnes Greycheek.
39	Palace-Pate, one of the Fair Folk, who has an entire palace populated by miniscule sprites growing out of his head. He speaks with a thick accent and refuses to discuss the palace; some have speculated he is simply its bearer.
40	Elisabeth de l’Abysse, a dhampir bastard from the Crimson City of Erubescence. A sensuous killer, monster-hunter, mercenary. She finds the eternal night of the Midnight Market soothing.
41	Henry Snoresby, out-of-work actor turned Crowsbeak thief. Leading man good looks, but totally wooden on the stage. He’s decent as a pickpocket, though: +5 to Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) checks.
42	Ratgirl, a vigilante dedicated to “cleaning up Corvid Commons,” an insane, impossible, and seemingly suicidal quest. Decked out with magical equipment, she also possesses a preternatural sense of smell and the ability to hide in shadows, scurry up and down walls, and similar abilities. Although she appears quite young, her actual identity is unknown – theories claim she might be a student at one of the magical universities, a rich brat from Fanghill, or an avenging demon. She dresses in rat-fur clothes and wears a gruesome rat-like mask.
43	Danielle Periwinkle has the lower body of a gigantic earwig, ever since she stumbled waist-deep into a pool of alchemical sludge in the Midden. She’s made the most of it and now runs a thriving rickshaw service – just 2 sp to reach anywhere in South Hex.
44	Geoffrey Clattersoul, a Royalist who insists that Xavier Soulswell is the true ruler of Hex and that the city state must be restored to an absolute monarchy. Scrawny and unconvincing; even the aristocratic Slumsknechte find him vaguely obnoxious. Hands out pro-monarchist pamphlets to anyone who will take one.
45	Alaric Mulderwood, a self-taught necromancer who specializes in reanimating body parts. Accompanied by a retinue of crawling reanimated hands and arms, hopping legs, and murmuring heads, embalmed and tattooed with glyphs. His shop hauls itself about south Hex.
46	Houndmoss, an emancipated homunculus encrusted with grey lichen; member of the Beggars’ Guild. A talented street musician with the panpipes, accompanied by a troupe of Charmed raccoons.
47	Many-Blades, a Lengian mercenary swordsman, highly skilled with his mismatched swords, who hangs out at the Ignus Faatus looking for work. He wears a suit of impeccable spidersilk armour.
48	Arthur “Sniffer” Slumply, a curmudgeonly Roofsguard, highly skilled with a crossbow. A nasty spell left his vision damaged, so he wears black glasses at all times, and aims partially through a highly developed sense of smell.
49	Deirdre Scrunch, a changeling street-witch and occasional arsonist with a talent for evocation and ever-shifting hair (length, colour, texture), who is always accompanied by her gutterpuck companion Scuttle.
50	Big Urk, a diminutive fungoid and Crowsbeak enforcer who likes the sound of breaking bones and collects the fingers of those who refused to pay their protection. Generally accompanied by 2d4 Crowsbeak toughs.
51	Millicent Briar, a demure cambion girl of seven who insists she is the Endbringer, a descendent of the Archdemon Moloch, and will break the Seal in Little Pandemonium to usher in an age of brimstone and become Queen of Hell. She is a powerful sorcerer for such a young girl, though much given to tea-parties with broken dolls in the back-alleys of the Commons.
52	Oswald Tealeaf, a gnome tinker and knife-sharpener who can impart a +1 bonus to damage to any slashing weapon for 1 gp; the bonus lasts for one encounter. He can also cast Mending for 5 sp.
53	Gutwrench, a Brickwose often seen carrying her twin boys on her back while raiding. A muscular woman of short stature, her preferred weapon is, appropriately enough, a gigantic wrench; she has a dented manhole cover for a shield. Her tribe are called the Drowned Rats.
54	Barbaros Khatun, a freelance mercenary and veteran of the endless warfare on the Purple Plateau, broad-shouldered, big-bearded, one-eyed, wielding a symbiotic sword and a shield fashioned from the carapace of some otherworldly monster. Hireable for 10 gp per day.
55	Gerrit Impsboon, an eldritch tattooist, sinewy, covered in squirming, tiny sigils; slighted points ears suggest he may be a changeling. He can provide a Thief’s Mark to those with Guild affiliation for 100 gp.
56	Ursula Killing sells jinxcrows, wheeling dozens of cages filled with them in a ramshackle cart. Each crow costs 100 gp and has one random first level spell memorized. A few prized crows worth 250 gp each have memorized a second level spell instead.
57	Abbey Slugswallow, a black-market apothecary; she runs a nomadic little shop selling illicit scrolls of Remove Curse to dodge magistrates’ maledictions, along with various illegal poisons.
58	Delilah Deadrose is a Wraithwaste survivor who spent several years in Catch-All. The disease is cured, but her entire left half is spectral, passing through solid objects. She can see spirits and other Ethereal creatures with her left eye. She now finds her employment as a courtesan on Heartbreak Street.
59	Jacoba van Snout, a Ravenswing illusionist, Fledgling rank, trained at Umbral University. Dark of hair, heart, and humour, she delights in particularly gruesome illusions, often pranking those she meets by magically simulating her own grisly demise.
60	Damien Shrug, a Ravenswing Talon with a stone arm courtesy of a magical trap he triggered during a burglary. Likes a bit of shadetea at the Dark Drop and similar establishments. The arm does prove somewhat useful in a fight.
61	Persimmon Swig, a farmer who got lost on his way to St. Monstrum’s Gate. He is, frankly, pretty terrified at this point, and could someone please help him find his way out of this horrible place? His sheep must be missing him!
62	Captain Joost Lijkburger, a crooked member of the City Watch sometimes glimpsed in plainclothes meeting his contacts at Sallow Sally’s or other establishments. Meaty, pig-eyed, scarred of face, small of brain, large of appetite, bad of breath.
63	Calliope Tumbledown, a skilled lock-picker, pickpocket, and Ravenswing Fledgling, often found honing her skills on random doors and purses throughout south Hex. Short, cropped hair, a quick smile and quicker fingers.
64	Byzou, an emancipated demon possessing a large doll resembling a well-dressed boy of noble birth, cracked and fissured with unholy energies, glyphs adorning its cheeks. He is a member of the Magpie Consortium and an expert on diabolic artefacts.
65	Razor the Droll, a waspkin satirist who writes and illustrates for the column “Razor Wit” for the seditious newspaper Counterspell. He has an impressive moustache (especially for a waspkin) and a flair for caricatures.
66	Phillipe Trench, a Crowsbeak second-storey man cursed by a magistrate for breaking and entering. He is deathly phobic of open windows as a result of the curse and compulsively closes them in any room he is in. To be honest, open doors aren’t great, either. Or trapdoors. Or manholes. Or latrines. Cabinets. Closets. Any opening, really. Could you close your mouth, please? It’s disturbing.
67	Luciana Fenris, an adventurer-librarian, tawny-haired and ruthless of demeanour; she is employed by the Institute of Omens and is often found in Crowsbeak Commons in search of certain volumes sometimes for sale on Tatterwing Way.
68	Edwina Ramsfoot, a Bloodworm tough renowned for her skill with whips. Statuesque, no-nonsense, enjoys the fights at the Butcherbird Fighting Pits on Shrike Street. Heavy Incarnadine user.
69	Acrid “Doomblade” Morrigan, a pretentious teenage poet and freelance mercenary who dresses all in black leather armour and carries a gigantic sword. He’d be completely laughable were it not for his genuine martial and magical talent: he’s a sorcerer and swordsman of considerable natural ability. A would-be adventurer, he’s looking for a party to accompany, and can be quite an asset for a group willing to put up with recitations of extraordinarily overwrought and melancholy verse.
70	Persephone Lilac, an adventurer of some renown, dungeon-pale and strangely scarred, is unstuck from time, skipping across its surface like a peddle across a lake. Ever since she ran afoul of the Sundial-headed Knight in Elfhame she experiences every other hour of time, disappearing for an hour and reappearing with no memory of the interim. The time between skips is very slowly shrinking.
71	Klub Stoneclaw, a trollblood cook, hulkingly muscular and massive of belly, jovial of disposition; renowned for his eel-tarts, which he sells for 5 cp each from a little cart. Beautiful runic tattoos on his expansive biceps and forearms.
72	Amelia Flinch, a former Hexmarine in the navy, who fought during the Ichor Wars. She is now a Roofsguard, but still walks with a limp due to the living shells embedded in her left calf, courtesy of parasite-guns of the Gelatinous Empire.
73	Xanthus Joy, a Ravenswing burglar renowned for his beautiful golden hair, obsession with stealing sacred artefacts, and daring approach to thievery. A libertine, and the subject of many romantic fantasies in Corvid Commons and indeed throughout the city.
74	Otto de Wilde, sometimes said to be the strongest man in Hex, though there are rivals for that title, particularly among the trollbloods. This seven foot-tall, hulking man – a Bloodworm enforcer covered in crimson worm tattoos – can bend steel bars and perform similar feats quite easily. He occasionally fights in the Butcherbird Fighting Pits.
75	Varicose Strum, an elementalist who specializes in blood magic, controlling people using their blood or animating gouts of the stuff to form weapons, armour, servants. Debonair, epicene, slender, chalk-pale, dresses all in red.
76	Sister Stygian, a cultist of the Shrouded Lord who appears to petitioners on moonless nights. She is swathed in back cloth but is long of limb and carries a censer of velvety incense. The Shrouded Lord has entrusted her with knowledge of the secrets of death, and for the right sacrifice she can discern the cause and time of any person’s death, though never the identity of their killer.
77	Flamingo, a fungoid fence of the Magpie Consortium, bright pink and sweet-smelling, covered in vivid sacs, usually clad in voluminous dresses with dozens of Pockets of Holding sewn into the fabric.
78	Gabrielle Ankh, a rag-and-bones woman whose junk-cart is piled high with musical instruments, rusty firearms, bent cutlery, and a live bird’s nest with her pet jinxcrow, Giltbeak, whose ensorcelled, sigil-graven beak has been known to occasionally transmute objects to gold for a few brief moments when pecked (the result of a spellshower – see Phenomena for details).
79	Astra Scudd, a gnomish poison-seller with terrible chemical burns, false teeth, and a cheerful manner.
80	Musty Moll, a member of the Stench, one of Noisome Nancy’s lieutenants. Skeleton-thin and brown-toothed, with sharpened iron implants in place of nails. She has a serious Ghostdust habit and sees spirits everywhere.
81	Ezra Metatron, a priest of the Thousand-Suckered-One, who frequently ministers to the poor in Corvid Commons. Massive of girth and of generosity, he and his acolytes distribute medicinal tonics, food, and religious pamphlets. His limbs are puckered with angry red scars from his ritual couplings with the Cephalopod Saints in his order’s temple.
82	Judith Swanskull, a cambion gunfighter and highwaywoman of great derring-do. She often lounges in Corvid Commons in-between jobs on the road. There’s a 250 gp price on her head. Crimson hair and vestigial bat-wings courtesy of her succubus mother.
83	Wendolyn Froth, a Crowsbeak thief caught and cursed by a magistrate to be followed by a miniature stormcloud for the next six years. It rains down on her in a soft drizzle most of the time, but begins to pour rain if she lies, and electrocutes her if she commits any outright crimes. Currently a member of the Beggars’ Guild.
84	Chrysanthemum, a renegade homunculus in the Ravenswing Thieves’ Guild – cheeky, preternaturally stealthy, specializing in “hiding in plain sight” as a house plant in the homes of the wealthy.
85	Maxime Smack, one of the Jackdaws, a dagonian orphan just out of her larval stage, mottled yellow-brown scales, often found selling scavenged treasures culled from the muddy depths of sewer-tunnels.
86	Nibbling Oliphant, a second-rate pickpocket and Tailfeather Fop with expensive taste in clothes but clumsy fingers. He tries his best, but ever since the mousetrap incident his game’s been off.
87	Dorothea Rabid, a voluptuous ghoul courtesan expelled from the Courtesans’ Guild for murdering a client for unknown reasons. Moonlights as a freelance assassin. Huge yellow eyes.
88	Gash the Bodger, a waspkin messenger and petty thief who is also a minor mechanist, building rusty clockwork toys from scavenged scrap.
89	The Switchskin, one of the Fair Folk, who during the day is a manic, violent, whimsical, lecherous prankster, and during the night is a preternaturally calm sage of immense wisdom. He can occasionally be seen in The Lady with the Bloodstained Fan on Carrion Street.
90	Harry Sluaghwarren, a ghoul costermonger who specializes in eels, hot and jellied, avaliable with pie and mash. His cries of “JELLIED EELS” and “EELS ’N MASH” can be heard for some distance.
91	Virgil the Noseslicer, a terrifying Crowsbeak cutthroat, beloved in some circles, known for his dislike of the City Watch and his keen ability to detect plain-clothes officers (“Noses”). He keeps a grisly series of trophies – literal sliced-off noses – on a string round his brawny neck.
92	Charles “Pighead” Perrottet, a criminal originally from Erubescence, captured by Hexian authorities and polymorphed into a pig as punishment. He was liberated and partially transformed back, but the Dispel went badly wrong dueto some wild magic current or the incompetence of the caster (he insists the latter) that has left him half-human, half-pig, permanently. A member of the Crowsbeak Thieves’ Guild.
93	Empty, a shadowmilk-drinker who has not spoken in thirteen years, black of eye and lip, nondescript of clothing and face. They appear unpredictably when jobs need doing, without being summoned or contracted, and inevitably do whatever needs to be done, exhibiting an incredibly broad array of skills in exchange for coin, usually only a guinea (1 gp). Those that refuse to pay Empty for their labour are cursed with nightmares of unbelievable horror for weeks or months on end, sometimes going permanently mad.
94	The Vinemother, an aged druidess who lives in Mooncross but journeys across Hex planting tiny plants everywhere she goes, nurtured with magic, in a vain but endless war against the industrial sprawl of the metropolis. Long white hair strewn with leaves, clad in ragged garments of leaves and vines.
95	Notch, a Brickwose warlord usually accompanied by a band of 2d6 marauders, inevitably on a raid for food, clothing, and thralls; covered in scars and wielding a serrated glaive.
96	Backbreak Ben, a wiry but muscular ghoul gladiator renowned for his signature spine-snapping move in the Butcherbird Fighting Pits. Actually quite a gentle soul outside of the Pits, but an utter maniac within them.
97	Corina Crumbsmoot, a pockmarked, taciturn woman; a dead-cart driver, she rolls through Corvid Commons every Boneday collecting corpses to sell to the Reanimators’ Guild in Shambleside. She pays between 10 and 50 gp per corpse depending on its species and state of decomposition.
98	Carmelita the Crustacean Courtesan promises an unforgettable experience for the discerning lady, gentleman, or any who lieth betwixt. Half-transformed during a magical accident into a hybrid of woman and shellfish, her exoskeleton glistens with cheap gemstones, adjacent to pearlescent human flesh, advertised from the delicate balcony from which she beseeches passersby. Those with sufficient coin (100 gp) to patronize her boudoir will also find her rich in philosophical conversation.
99	Cynosure van Rump, a scrawny anathemist covered in eldritch tattoos, who summons tentacular horrors from distant dimensions through his guts – his belly expands rapidly and he vomits forth stomach-conjured monsters. Perpetually ill-looking.
100	Jangling Jane, a lockpick-merchant. Most of her merchandise is contained in her gigantic tunnelswine-leather coat, from which her epithet is derived: hundreds and hundreds of lockpicks, skeleton keys, and specific keys to doors scattered throughout the city, which she sells for anything from 5cp to 1500 gp.

If you like what you see here and want to read more of this larger setting, check out Genial Jack: Volume 1, including NPCs, districts, and playable species in a city within a giant whale.